Tales from the Nuthouse: Lest You Think I have a Really Suck Job

[wolf]

So, I'm dealing with this kid, 19 years old. He's not merely gay, he's a complete screaming queen. Lisp, limp wrist, lilty voice, glided across the floor when he walked, wearing more Silly Bandz than the average tween girl. So flamey I feared the couch would catch fire.

So, he sashays into the interview room with me. I start by asking, "Your paperwork says your name is 'Charles.' Are you are a 'Charles,' 'Chuck,' 'Chas,' or something else?"

"Nibbles."

"What?"

"They call me Nibbles."

"Young man, I cannot call you Nibbles. Let's just stick with Charles."

[Shawnee123]

Originally Posted by wolf

So, I'm dealing with this kid, 19 years old. He's not merely gay, he's a complete screaming queen. Lisp, limp wrist, lilty voice, glided across the floor when he walked, wearing more Silly Bandz than the average tween girl. So flamey I feared the couch would catch fire.

So, he sashays into the interview room with me. I start by asking, "Your paperwork says your name is 'Charles.' Are you are a 'Charles,' 'Chuck,' 'Chas,' or something else?"

"Nibbles."

"What?"

"They call me Nibbles."

"Young man, I cannot call you Nibbles. Let's just stick with Charles."

This is the funniest story I've heard in quite some time!

[thud85]

Originally Posted by wolf

"They call me Nibbles."

Something tells me they don't call him Nibbles because he's always snacking on something... (unless that's what you wanna call it)

[dmg1969]

Are you sure he didn't say Nipples?

[Scriveyn]

[wolf]

I took a call of an elopement from the State Hospital last night. "Elopement" is a nice way of saying "Security didn't notice a patient was missing."

This happens relatively infrequently, and usually doesn't involve the sort of manhunt for a dangerous maniac that you see in movies.

Usually they turn up. Sometimes a nut just really wants to wander around for a bit, have a Dunkin' Donut, or grab a quick adult beverage at a nearby watering hole.

The notice consisted of the patient's name, and a description:

"Last seen wearing a brown trench coat and black ballerina tutu."

So, I guess sometimes it really is like the movies.

[Lamplighter]

and I like that use of "elopement"

Yesterday, I saw something I thought was nice at our local grocery.
A customer placed all of her groceries on a check stand that had no cashier.
My cashier called her by name three times asking her to come to his register
The woman had a blank stare and didn't move.

My cashier then called for assistance by saying: "We have a "lost customer" at stand #4"

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by wolf

I took a call of an elopement from the State Hospital last night. "Elopement" is a nice way of saying "Security didn't notice a patient was missing."

This happens relatively infrequently, and usually doesn't involve the sort of manhunt for a dangerous maniac that you see in movies.

Usually they turn up. Sometimes a nut just really wants to wander around for a bit, have a Dunkin' Donut, or grab a quick adult beverage at a nearby watering hole.

The notice consisted of the patient's name, and a description:

"Last seen wearing a brown trench coat and black ballerina tutu."

So, I guess sometimes it really is like the movies.

There but for the grace of Thorazine...

[Urbane Guerrilla]

Originally Posted by wolf

So, I'm dealing with this kid, 19 years old. He's not merely gay, he's a complete screaming queen. Lisp, limp wrist, lilty voice, glided across the floor when he walked, wearing more Silly Bandz than the average tween girl. So flamey I feared the couch would catch fire.

So . . . "Young man, I cannot call you Nibbles. Let's just stick with Charles."

We've got a local trial upcoming of the guy who shot a kid that was a lot like Nibbles. I think a lot of very ugly stuff is going to come out about both the shooter (a juvenile) and his none-too-functional family... something like John Belushi and those mashed potatoes.