say what you're thinking

[warch]

But the minor infractions...The daily stuff...

I'm a small woman, not physically intimidating. If I'm in a social situation with minor rudeness- like the chick butting in line at the poster store, I tend to go with a smile/laugh and (hopefully) assertive "I'm almost done, moving as fast as I can, then you can see the whole rack" To me its not worth getting hot about, but I will let someone know if they are being rude. And Ive had them appologise to me. When someone is being an asshole my ultimate goal is for them to see, and on some level comprehend what an asshole they are being. And feel bad. I want them to feel bad. Sometimes it works, I'd say usually it works. Sometimes not. Most of the time the person is just operating in their own universe. Verbally clubbing them over the head, or "out ruding" them, puts them on defensive and generally adds to their offensiveness. I want to shake them awake calmly and remind them that the rest of us are out here.

That being the goal, I very seldom think of the best thing to say or the best thing to do until 30-60 minutes after an encounter. I love to see an articulate person defuse an asshole on the spot- particularly if they use humor.