Generation swap

[limey]

Originally Posted by limey

And, there's the practical stuff to deal with ... dispersing her stuff, deciding what things she will have with her in the home ...

This is where I'm at today. After an emotional rollercoaster week of "yes she can move soon"/"no we need you to jump through more and ever higher hoops first" my mum is moving to the care home on Monday. Initially to a shared room: she'd prefer her own room, but a shared room in this home is far FAR preferable to the hospital ward she's on now.
So now I'm making a list of the things I must collect from my mum's house to take to the home. And wondering how I'll have the nerve to sell or give away the bulk of my mum's possessions. I don't have the room to store them, and I don't really feel I have the right to get rid of them. And no, I can't ask her about it because most of the time she lives in a delusional world where terrorist attacks have happened and/or will happen later. When I have a conversation with her I'd rather it was more pleasant than "I'm getting rid of your stuff. How'd you want me to do it".
I never thought I'd be delighted at the idea that my mum is moving to a care home, but I am, along with being appalled and heartbroken in equal measure.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by limey

I never thought I'd be delighted at the idea that my mum is moving to a care home, but I am, along with being appalled and heartbroken in equal measure.

Yes, that's a tough transition. The problem with most care facilities is they don't have room for personal "stuff", beyond daily necessities like clothes and toiletries. Kind of a stark/sterile environment.

[limey]

Not too stark, actually ... the building used to be a hotel (built around the turn of the 19/20th centuries, I think) and the rooms are all a little quirky. In fact, when I first started visiting this island it still was a hotel and many a merry night and happy Hogmanay celebration did I have in the bar!
It's not ideal that she'll be sharing a room as that means there's less room for her stuff, but all the same I think I'll be able to install, for her, her 1920s bedside cabinet, a bookshelf with a representative selection of books (not that I'm expecting my mum to read them, but books are most definitely a comfort blanket in our family), a dozen ornaments and a couple of pictures.
The layout is OK, there's what could turn into quite a cosy private TV corner for my mum, if she'd rather be on her own (it's what she's used to), in spite of sharing.
At least it won't be a 3 hour trip each way to visit her any more ...