Love is not enough

dar512 · 07-14-2009, 04:16 PM

I already knew this, but here's a study to confirm it:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090714/...ife/us_couples

Flint · 07-14-2009, 04:51 PM

You mean the fictional love as a "feeling" or the actual love as a series of actions taken?

dar512 · 07-14-2009, 04:54 PM

I saw you palm that card. Love the feeling is not fictional. It has been experienced by many.

I agree that Love the intention is a different thing.

Flint · 07-14-2009, 04:57 PM

I only meant fictional as the long-term sustaining force of a relationship. That nice rush of horny brain chemicals isn't something you should expect, much less count on, to stay pumping for fifty years. If you haven't got a respectful partnership based on something more substantial, then of course you'll be looking for another ƒuck buddy to make you feel like you're in your 20s again.

Next, ask me about "Romantic" love.. . . i.e. "I was so sure you were the one right person for me. Oh well, better try again."

lumberjim · 07-14-2009, 05:27 PM

AGAPE : the 'mushy feelings' part of love

EROS : the 'I wanna wreck that' part of love

lumberjim · 07-14-2009, 05:29 PM

oh, and studies, for the most part are pointless and stoopit.

Aliantha · 07-14-2009, 06:22 PM

Love is definitely not enough, and I'd guess that most people in long term relationships who do in fact love their partner, would say that there's a whole lot of other stuff involved besides love that keeps them together.

I've believed for a long time that loving someone is almost a conscious decision (after you get past the initial head in the clouds type of attraction). You both have to be at the right stage in your life and have the right circumstances bring you together, and sometimes it even comes down to a serendipitous conversation, but I just believe it's not just about the chemical and emotional reactions we have to that person. It's also about our logical summation of their persona at the time and the decision to make the effort when we otherwise may not have.

I know for a fact that if I'd met Daryl even 6 months before I did, we wouldn't be together now and that thought does scare the shit out of me sometimes, but I wasn't ready to be with someone who would treat me the way he does then.

Maybe it is fate or whatever if you believe in that sort of stuff, but I don't. I believe that if it hadn't been Daryl, it would have been someone else with similar qualities who I'd be spending my life with now.

Clodfobble · 07-14-2009, 06:53 PM

Also, you are more likely to fall in love with someone who has a greater-than-average immune system variance from you, thus combining to create stronger children.

dar512 · 07-14-2009, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

I only meant fictional as the long-term sustaining force of a relationship. That nice rush of horny brain chemicals isn't something you should expect, much less count on, to stay pumping for fifty years. If you haven't got a respectful partnership based on something more substantial, then of course you'll be looking for another ƒuck buddy to make you feel like you're in your 20s again.

Next, ask me about "Romantic" love.. . . i.e. "I was so sure you were the one right person for me. Oh well, better try again."

Agreed. But it's nice to start out with those feelings. Just as long as you realize it takes more than that to make a long-term relationship.

dar512 · 07-14-2009, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

oh, and studies, for the most part are pointless and stoopit.

Not at all. They're great for validating stuff that anyone who cares to can figure out.

This reminded me of one of my favorite movies: "The Truth About Cats and Dogs" - one of the wittiest movies I've seen.

Noelle needs to read an article in a women's magazine to figure out her boyfriend is a loser.

xoxoxoBruce · 07-15-2009, 02:29 AM

Sometimes the love has to be extra strength.

Aliantha · 07-15-2009, 04:21 AM

That's funny Bruce. I posted once about having a dream and then waking up and finding it hard to shed the feelings it evoked.

It really does happen. Other people admitted to the same sort of thing happening.

ThatGuy · 07-16-2009, 03:32 PM

What happened in that comic actually has happened to me in real life a few times now with my wife. She will wake up all pissed off and i havent even had a chance to do anything annoying yet. Then she will tell me about her crazy dream if she remembers saying i was cheating on her or something bad along those lines and she in genuinely pissed off and wont like let it go for a while.

Shawnee123 · 07-16-2009, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dar512

This reminded me of one of my favorite movies: "The Truth About Cats and Dogs" - one of the wittiest movies I've seen.

I like that movie too, but I'm a big fan of both Uma and Janeane!

07-14-2009, 04:16 PM	#1
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	Love is not enough I already knew this, but here's a study to confirm it: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090714/...ife/us_couples __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

07-14-2009, 04:51 PM	#2
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	You mean the fictional love as a "feeling" or the actual love as a series of actions taken? __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

07-14-2009, 04:54 PM	#3
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	I saw you palm that card. Love the feeling is not fictional. It has been experienced by many. I agree that Love the intention is a different thing. __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

07-14-2009, 04:57 PM	#4
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	I only meant fictional as the long-term sustaining force of a relationship. That nice rush of horny brain chemicals isn't something you should expect, much less count on, to stay pumping for fifty years. If you haven't got a respectful partnership based on something more substantial, then of course you'll be looking for another ƒuck buddy to make you feel like you're in your 20s again. Next, ask me about "Romantic" love.. . . i.e. "I was so sure you were the one right person for me. Oh well, better try again." __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

07-14-2009, 05:27 PM	#5
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	AGAPE : the 'mushy feelings' part of love EROS : the 'I wanna wreck that' part of love __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

07-14-2009, 05:29 PM	#6
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	oh, and studies, for the most part are pointless and stoopit. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

07-14-2009, 06:22 PM	#7
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Love is definitely not enough, and I'd guess that most people in long term relationships who do in fact love their partner, would say that there's a whole lot of other stuff involved besides love that keeps them together. I've believed for a long time that loving someone is almost a conscious decision (after you get past the initial head in the clouds type of attraction). You both have to be at the right stage in your life and have the right circumstances bring you together, and sometimes it even comes down to a serendipitous conversation, but I just believe it's not just about the chemical and emotional reactions we have to that person. It's also about our logical summation of their persona at the time and the decision to make the effort when we otherwise may not have. I know for a fact that if I'd met Daryl even 6 months before I did, we wouldn't be together now and that thought does scare the shit out of me sometimes, but I wasn't ready to be with someone who would treat me the way he does then. Maybe it is fate or whatever if you believe in that sort of stuff, but I don't. I believe that if it hadn't been Daryl, it would have been someone else with similar qualities who I'd be spending my life with now. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

07-14-2009, 06:53 PM	#8
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Also, you are more likely to fall in love with someone who has a greater-than-average immune system variance from you, thus combining to create stronger children. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

07-15-2009, 02:29 AM	#11
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Sometimes the love has to be extra strength. Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

07-15-2009, 04:21 AM	#12
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	That's funny Bruce. I posted once about having a dream and then waking up and finding it hard to shed the feelings it evoked. It really does happen. Other people admitted to the same sort of thing happening. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

07-16-2009, 03:32 PM	#13
ThatGuy Keeper of the Decorum Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Florida Posts: 58	What happened in that comic actually has happened to me in real life a few times now with my wife. She will wake up all pissed off and i havent even had a chance to do anything annoying yet. Then she will tell me about her crazy dream if she remembers saying i was cheating on her or something bad along those lines and she in genuinely pissed off and wont like let it go for a while. __________________ What would Scooby Do?????

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