What would you do?

[lumberjim]

indeed it does.

i can totally see how you'd need to remain in the relationship. especially if you've taken the risk of being the dependent partner and care giver. I don't think most people appreciate the risk a person takes when they are dependent in such a permanent way. Time goes by and all the while, you're not developing a career....and if you suddenly find yourself having to provide for yourself and your kids...... The child support and/or spousal support will not typically be sufficient for you to maintain anything like your current lifestyle.

Better to work things out openly and honestly, and try to rise above bumps in the road like this one. take the long view, but don't be a doormat about it.

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

indeed it does.

i can totally see how you'd need to remain in the relationship. especially if you've taken the risk of being the dependent partner and care giver. I don't think most people appreciate the risk a person takes when they are dependent in such a permanent way. Time goes by and all the while, you're not developing a career....and if you suddenly find yourself having to provide for yourself and your kids...... The child support and/or spousal support will not typically be sufficient for you to maintain anything like your current lifestyle.

Better to work things out openly and honestly, and try to rise above bumps in the road like this one. take the long view, but don't be a doormat about it.

I think that's very well put.

Really, anon, you're the only one here who knows your hubby and therefore you're the one most likely to be able to predict his response if you confront him. I think Jim's advice about getting in the open and basically saying if he's going to do that, do it safely is worthy of consideration. Again though it depends on how he's likely to respond and how able you feel to raise it in a productive, rather than just confrontational way.