Please excuse my emotional distance this week

[99 44/100% pure]

Originally posted by Undertoad
. . . I never understood it before; how can it be SO painful? . . .

Wow, I was just reading this article and then stumbled upon this thread. UT, I am so sorry to hear your news. All I can offer is that I went through a divorce (after 15 years and 3 kids) that no one really wanted, but was inevitable due to a serious, ongoing medical/mental problem. It is now three years since we separated, and the divorce became final a few months ago. I seriously reconsidered several times, but this really seemes to have been the best outcome we could hope for (no headlines about "Wife, Kids Found Dead in Suburban Home" which was a distinct possibility).

When he finally moved out, our friends were shocked and disturbed, because the problems in the marriage were of such a private nature, and we were involved in so many facets of our community and held in high esteem as a 'happy couple.' It has given me a whole new perspective on the private lives of others -- as I drive through neighborhoods of manicured lawns and happy children, I am acutely aware that there's a story behind every door.

Similar to the outpouring of support you have received here, ranging from tangible assistance to simply 'being there,' I was heartened by the amazing response of my friends and neighbors -- to both of us. It really helped to know that so many people cared, and to such depth.

In the long run, after the pain, confusion, doubt, disarray, changes, etc., it has come out on the positive side; the kids are doing well, my ex is getting the treatment he needs, and I eventually met HB!

If we can help in any way, I sure hope you'll let us know. Can't offer much help with the employment, but we've got enough of all the rest to share (but aren't you staying in the house?) -- and, of course, if you meander down to Baltimore, we'd love to be your hosts.