May 11, 2009: Limbless Masseur/Masseuse

xoxoxoBruce · 05-10-2009, 10:24 PM

Limbless? Then they must use their bodies, right? That's right.

Quote:

A masseuse in Israel who has discovered that some people will pay top dollar ($80) to have snakes slither across their backs and faces. Turns out that king snakes and corn snakes deliver a nice kneading sensation when they get their slither on.

Quote:

Ada Barak figured out several years ago that heavy king and corn snakes produce a relaxing kneading sensation. For years, she's been entertaining guests at her farm where she cultivates rodent-eating carnivorous plants. Strangely, she found a sideline that's even more bizarre.

I suppose this would cut down the undercover cops snooping around.

link Via

zippyt · 05-10-2009, 11:11 PM

I would have to be Drugged to put up with that !!!!

SteveDallas · 05-10-2009, 11:29 PM

I remember on Bullshit, the show Penn & Teller did for a while, one of the early episodes was bogus medicine. In one segment they had a doctor-looking guy in a white lab coat out at a mall explaining to people about the newly-found benefits of snail slime. They showed a woman with a snail crawling over her face... "Oh, wow, Doctor, I can feel it exfoliating my pores!!" or some crap like that.

SPUCK · 05-11-2009, 04:08 AM

Discussion overheard at a snake parlor:

"OK, all the snakes are on.."
"All the snakes?"
"Well, yeah, you said all those snakes."
"YOU IDIOT! Not the Black Mamba!"
.
.
"Ah lady please lie very still"
"OW! I just got bit.."

________________________
Guess the lady pictured doesn't mind salmonellae smeared all over her face..

spudcon · 05-11-2009, 04:09 AM

What keeps the snakes on her body? Won't they just wander off, looking for a ratburger?

The Teapot · 05-11-2009, 05:51 AM

Profesionalism mainly.

DanaC · 05-11-2009, 06:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Teapot

Profesionalism mainly.

lol fuck you teapot, I just lost a mouthful of coffee.

Trilby · 05-11-2009, 07:08 AM

Um.

No.

ZenGum · 05-11-2009, 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spudcon

What keeps the snakes on her body? Won't they just wander off, looking for a ratburger?

Well, that's why they smear the ratburger on the patient's body. It's either that or pheromones, take your pick.

capnhowdy · 05-11-2009, 07:24 AM

I, too, will pass.

morethanpretty · 05-11-2009, 09:11 AM

I will hold a snake, I will not let it crawl over me, especially if I'm naked. Snakes like to get into crannies, and nooks...

jinx · 05-11-2009, 09:29 AM

Jim and I used to have a corn snake. His name was Slim... he got out of his cage and was never seen again. I wonder if he went to the big city and got a job in a massage parlor?

eta: I want a rodent-eating carnivorous plant. Bad.

Shawnee123 · 05-11-2009, 09:34 AM

Slim was really hoping to break into acting. He left, hitchhiked to California, and tried out for Snakes on a Plane. They rejected him, said he was too ethnic. Last I heard, he was washing dishes in a seedy diner.

It's a story as old as the hills, and I didn't write it.

spudcon · 05-11-2009, 11:12 AM

I heard he went to work in the SlimJim factory.

glatt · 05-11-2009, 11:16 AM

When I saw this thread, I was thinking it would be along the lines of those jokes "What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, ...?"

05-10-2009, 11:11 PM	#2
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	I would have to be Drugged to put up with that !!!! __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

05-11-2009, 04:09 AM	#5
spudcon Beware of potatoes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Upstate NY, USA Posts: 2,078	What keeps the snakes on her body? Won't they just wander off, looking for a ratburger? __________________ "I believe that being despised by the despicable is as good as being admired by the admirable."

05-11-2009, 07:08 AM	#8
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Um. No. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

05-11-2009, 07:24 AM	#10
capnhowdy Blatantly Homosapien Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 6,200	I, too, will pass. __________________ Please type slowly. I can't read very fast............... and no holy water, please.

05-11-2009, 09:11 AM	#11
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	I will hold a snake, I will not let it crawl over me, especially if I'm naked. Snakes like to get into crannies, and nooks... __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

05-10-2009, 11:29 PM	#3
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	I remember on Bullshit, the show Penn & Teller did for a while, one of the early episodes was bogus medicine. In one segment they had a doctor-looking guy in a white lab coat out at a mall explaining to people about the newly-found benefits of snail slime. They showed a woman with a snail crawling over her face... "Oh, wow, Doctor, I can feel it exfoliating my pores!!" or some crap like that.

05-11-2009, 04:08 AM	#4
SPUCK Professor Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 1,911	Discussion overheard at a snake parlor: "OK, all the snakes are on.." "All the snakes?" "Well, yeah, you said all those snakes." "YOU IDIOT! Not the Black Mamba!" . . "Ah lady please lie very still" "OW! I just got bit.." ________________________ Guess the lady pictured doesn't mind salmonellae smeared all over her face..

05-11-2009, 05:51 AM	#6
The Teapot May Ter Dee Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: The retirement home Posts: 26	Profesionalism mainly.

05-11-2009, 09:29 AM	#12
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	Jim and I used to have a corn snake. His name was Slim... he got out of his cage and was never seen again. I wonder if he went to the big city and got a job in a massage parlor? eta: I want a rodent-eating carnivorous plant. Bad. __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

05-11-2009, 09:34 AM	#13
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Slim was really hoping to break into acting. He left, hitchhiked to California, and tried out for Snakes on a Plane. They rejected him, said he was too ethnic. Last I heard, he was washing dishes in a seedy diner. It's a story as old as the hills, and I didn't write it. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

05-11-2009, 11:12 AM	#14
spudcon Beware of potatoes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Upstate NY, USA Posts: 2,078	I heard he went to work in the SlimJim factory. __________________ "I believe that being despised by the despicable is as good as being admired by the admirable."

05-11-2009, 11:16 AM	#15
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	When I saw this thread, I was thinking it would be along the lines of those jokes "What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, ...?"

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