Our Favorite Examples

Urbane Guerrilla · 04-28-2009, 03:06 AM

-- of news headlines that should have been taken out back and shot, except then they'd impoverish talk radio or something.

"British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands"

Oh, that's what those were.

****

Bad misquotes, misreadable headlines, snappy comments all encouraged.

Sheldonrs · 04-28-2009, 10:01 AM

"Jamie Foxx beats off stalker in his hotel room"

SteveDallas · 04-28-2009, 10:50 AM

A favorite from years ago in my hometown newspaper... "Shriners Help Burn Victims"

Shawnee123 · 04-28-2009, 11:07 AM

"Bush After a Quick Peace"

DanaC · 04-28-2009, 06:03 PM

"Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster" The Sun
"Up Yours Delors" (with the two fingered Victory salute atop a Union Jack) The Sun

I think the worst headlines i've ever seen and the ones that showed us (Brits) at our absolute worst were the headlines during the Falklands War. "Gotcha" for the sinking of the Belgrano, and the ever cringe-worthy "Stick it up your Junta" Again, both from The Sun (a newspaper that Russell Brand characterises as a lifelong friend...but the kind of friend you hate; the racist nasty bigotted friend who pours bile in your ear.)

Crimson Ghost · 04-29-2009, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

A favorite from years ago in my hometown newspaper... "Shriners Help Burn Victims"

Everyone needs a hobby.....

ZenGum · 04-29-2009, 01:01 AM

GIANT WAVES DOWN CHIMNEY

COURSE TEACHED ADULT LITERACY (true story, local free paper, Adeliade hills, amny years ago).

STOLEN FROM VIDEO SHOP CUTOUT OF YODA WAS

SteveDallas · 04-29-2009, 09:31 AM

This was from the Philadelphia Daily News, some years ago, regarding a story that four patients at a hospital had died from incorrect dosages in their intravenous fluid bags.

"IV Dead"

daff0dil · 04-29-2009, 12:23 PM

I want to comment on the Oregonians layout...choices...on an almost daily basis.
It's not that their headlines are ridiculous or lame (though they often are) it's that they have this "picture of the day" thing, that lands smack in the middle of the front page (sometimes just the front page of their living section) that has no relationship to the blazing headline

Illustrative but not actual example: "Swine Flu Epidemic!" coupled with a pic of children playing or the Blazers. And then a tiny caption to explain pic of the day.

DanaC · 04-29-2009, 03:20 PM

That's brilliant. I mean...it's wrong, just plain wrong...but it's still brilliant

SteveDallas · 04-30-2009, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheldonrs

"Jamie Foxx beats off stalker in his hotel room"

Girl Beats Off Muggers With Marching Band Baton

Sundae · 04-30-2009, 12:55 PM

Front of the Bucks Herald this week was the headline, "Prison Officer Gives Birth to Inmate's Love Child"

Why is that funny?
It's not - it's a hideously smug use of a completely outdated phrase.
I bet about 30% of the circulation have a so-called Love Child in their family these days.

I was tempted to write them a letter, but in the end I decided - nah, not worth it. I have a backlog of letters to write to the Express and the Mail asking them why they hate Great Britain anyway.

04-28-2009, 03:06 AM	#1
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	Our Favorite Examples -- of news headlines that should have been taken out back and shot, except then they'd impoverish talk radio or something. "British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands" Oh, that's what those were. **** Bad misquotes, misreadable headlines, snappy comments all encouraged. __________________ Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course.

04-28-2009, 10:01 AM	#2
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	"Jamie Foxx beats off stalker in his hotel room" __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you.

04-28-2009, 11:07 AM	#4
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	"Bush After a Quick Peace" __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

04-29-2009, 01:01 AM	#7
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	GIANT WAVES DOWN CHIMNEY COURSE TEACHED ADULT LITERACY (true story, local free paper, Adeliade hills, amny years ago). STOLEN FROM VIDEO SHOP CUTOUT OF YODA WAS __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

04-29-2009, 12:23 PM	#9
daff0dil Profitable Prophet Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 30	As a side note I want to comment on the Oregonians layout...choices...on an almost daily basis. It's not that their headlines are ridiculous or lame (though they often are) it's that they have this "picture of the day" thing, that lands smack in the middle of the front page (sometimes just the front page of their living section) that has no relationship to the blazing headline Illustrative but not actual example: "Swine Flu Epidemic!" coupled with a pic of children playing or the Blazers. And then a tiny caption to explain pic of the day.

04-28-2009, 10:50 AM	#3
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	A favorite from years ago in my hometown newspaper... "Shriners Help Burn Victims"

04-28-2009, 06:03 PM	#5
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	"Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster" The Sun "Up Yours Delors" (with the two fingered Victory salute atop a Union Jack) The Sun I think the worst headlines i've ever seen and the ones that showed us (Brits) at our absolute worst were the headlines during the Falklands War. "Gotcha" for the sinking of the Belgrano, and the ever cringe-worthy "Stick it up your Junta" Again, both from The Sun (a newspaper that Russell Brand characterises as a lifelong friend...but the kind of friend you hate; the racist nasty bigotted friend who pours bile in your ear.)

04-29-2009, 09:31 AM	#8
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	This was from the Philadelphia Daily News, some years ago, regarding a story that four patients at a hospital had died from incorrect dosages in their intravenous fluid bags. "IV Dead"

04-29-2009, 03:20 PM	#10
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	That's brilliant. I mean...it's wrong, just plain wrong...but it's still brilliant

04-30-2009, 12:55 PM	#12
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Front of the Bucks Herald this week was the headline, "Prison Officer Gives Birth to Inmate's Love Child" Why is that funny? It's not - it's a hideously smug use of a completely outdated phrase. I bet about 30% of the circulation have a so-called Love Child in their family these days. I was tempted to write them a letter, but in the end I decided - nah, not worth it. I have a backlog of letters to write to the Express and the Mail asking them why they hate Great Britain anyway. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

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