Humor...I Need Humor...

[jester]

She was standing in the kitchen
Preparing to boil eggs for breakfast,
Wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in almost awake,
She turned and said softly,
'You've got to make love to me this very moment.'

My eyes lit up and I thought,
'I am either still dreaming or
This is going to be my lucky day.'

Not wanting to lose the moment,
I embraced her and then gave it my all;
Right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her
'T' shirt still around her neck.

A little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?'

She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'

[jester]

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota . He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out there).

He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if the cow gives milk. When he grabs a teat and pulls...the cow farts. Surprised, Ole looks at the farmer who's selling the cow, then reaches under to try again.

He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow.

When he gets back to Minnesota, he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, 'Hey, Sven, come and look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens.'

Sven reaches under, pulls the teat...the cow farts.

Sven looks at Ole and says, 'You bought dis here cow over in Nordakota, didn't yah?'

Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip. Ole
replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how did yah know?'

Sven says, 'My wife is from Nordakota too.'