Not owning up... and how to address the upset

[JanJan]

I agree with Flint. If he doesn't care about any possible strain this will put on his relationship with that family member, than neither should you. Just go over there, point to what's yours and say I'd like to have that/those back and I'll help you find replacement pieces. You can even throw in a guilt factor to the conversation like "I'd been telling (insert child's name) about the time (how it relates to the piece) and I'd really like to be able to pass that memory in that piece down to (insert child name) in my quilt."
I'm passive agressive, too, and I've always fallen back on the guilt factor, regardless if it's true or not.