Stoopid employee stories

[headsplice]

I used to be a manager at a laser tag areana. In the actual arena there were fog machines, blacklights, lasers, strobes, and lots of loud, bass-heavy music.
One of my less-than-agile-mentally subordinates decided that it would be extra cool to try and work an eight hour shift in the arena while on LSD.
After about 45 minutes of being in the back, he didn't come out with the other referee (there are generally always two, just in case) after a game.
I went looking for him, and he was standing in a corner of the arena, staring directly into one of the lasers.
He got sent home, but the boss wouldn't let me fire him.
After all, if the kid got fired for doing LSD on the job, the boss might get fired for being drunk on the job.

I'm so glad I don't work in retail anymore.