Deal Breakers

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

No one ever answers questions around here, even one so innocuous as "how do you know the seat-pissers?"

When you follow a female into the coed BR it is a bit obvious.

[Locoluis]

Hi. Hahaha. I'm much more slob than neat, but when it comes to the toilet, I always leave it clean. And I leave the lid down. A seat pisser is someone who hasn't yet succeeded at potty training. OTOH, someone else having a weak bladder is not my problem.

Back to the topic. I have never dumped anyone (or dated; honestly, I haven't tried much), so I have no much idea about deal breakers and stuff. Let's make a short list:

- Lies.
I'm known to be brutally honest about stuff, and I don't like people who keep trying to wash away the truth with lies and illusions just to make it look pretty. For that reason, I like it all natural. Keep the make-up to a minimum and don't ever dye your hair. Just be yourself.
- Excessive desire for material things.
If you can't live with just the basics, then I'm not the one for you. I'm poor anyways. Credit cards? Expensive gifts? Forget it. No need for shiny, useless pieces of rock or metal hanging from your body. True beauty comes from the inside, not from some primitive symbol of status.
- Being unforgiving.
Everybody makes mistakes, and people are prone to fail. It's very important to understand this and be able to forgive each other's faults. For instance, I'm known for being absent-minded and forgetting important stuff once in a while; it's a big problem to me, and I'm doing all I can about it. Some things are break dealers indeed, but for everything else, we can talk about it.
- Lack of trust and mutual respect.
Trust is fundamental in every relationship and, as I learned, is only lost once. I won't keep secrets from you so don't keep secrets from me. A closed heart is worse than a closed mind. Similar thing with mutual respect. We talk about what we like and we don't like, we learn about the what the other person likes or dislikes, and we avoid stepping on each other's feet; otherwise, we end up with something else instead of a relationship.

Oh, and this is a particular pet-peeve of me. I'm really fed-up of coarse "music" trash like reggaeton, cumbia villera (shantytown cumbia) and the like. I'm tired of telling my sister to stop putting that radio station while I'm there (and it's *my* house, so I should have a say). Everybody has their tastes, I like a lot of music from classical to sappy romantic ballads to most kinds of rock, blues, country, pop, hip-hop, funk, reggae, etc. No, I don't like thrash metal, punk, goth, emo or the like, either. Again, let's talk about it and find a common ground, or let's just forget about it and find someone else.

I was going to put "Stupid demands" there, but then it hit me. What for a person are just "stupid demands" could very well be "deal breakers" to someone else, so let's not be so quick.

[LabRat]

Welcome locoluis! I believe you are our first Chilean. Someone correct me if I'm wrong...

[Perry Winkle]

Originally Posted by LabRat

Welcome locoluis! I believe you are our first Chilean. Someone correct me if I'm wrong...

Didn't someone have a Chilean over in the 2008 Dweller NSFW? If not, I'm sure Sheldon has had enough Chileans to make up for the rest of us.

[Pie]

Deal breakers?
* Control issues
* Honesty issues
* Arrogance
* Intolerance

[monster]

Shortness of Stature.

[dar512]

Originally Posted by monster

Shortness of Stature.

How short is "shortness of stature"?

♫ Short people got no reason to live ♪

[LabRat]

Bwa ha ha ha ha @ monster!!

Don't want no short short man....

[Pooka]

I was only 18 when I married the first time around to a 5’2” pretentious bastard with a small dick and an even smaller self esteem… but I learned some pretty valuable lessons over that 10 year coma… and once I woke up(figuratively of course) I established that the following would never be allowed again.

1. Expectations that I will work a soul sucking job to support your drinking and carousing till all hours
2. Unwillingness to uphold your end of the housework agreement leaving me to pick up the slack
3. In ability to communicate problems, feelings, transgressions etc… since when does the excuse “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings” solve the issue that festers and becomes the base reason for pushing someone away?
4. LIES, LIES, LIES… they aren’t funny and I’ll still find out… so be honest. I don’t have to like the truth, but at least give me the respect and allow me the opportunity to decide for MYSELF if it is something I can live with or not.
5. Lack of desire to EVER have sex… if you didn’t want to fuck me you shouldn’t have married me
6. Infidelity- if you aren’t going to fuck me you certainly don’t get to fuck someone else… the hell is wrong with you?
7. Driving away my friends… you don’t have to like them, but you can’t stop me from liking them.
8. Teasing me to the point of harassment about my likes that are not your likes… I’m not you… get over it
9. Pretension and elitist attitudes… if you think you are hot shit and the smartest in the room… chances are … you aren’t. People can hear you and can understand the insults you mutter under your breath.
10. Physical and emotional violence. You hit me… I walk out the door.
11. Lack of appreciation. Appreciate all the love and consideration you are given… or someone else will…


Flint had a similar experience in our former marriages… but for him it was with an Amazon with bigger back tits than front, but same small self esteem… and essentially same scenario… he is just clearly smarter… he tolerated it for less than a year. So… we don’t have any of those issues with each other. After 4 years I still can’t think of any reason he isn’t the best catch out there…. Plus we are the same sort of goofball. But, if we hadn’t found each other… the above rules would apply to anyone I met.

[Aliantha]

Gee Pooka, your first marriage sounds strangely similar to the first guy I lived with (only for three years though, that was enough. He hit me one night while he was drunk, so I left the next day).

[Pooka]

Oh... I left out... must be house trained...

I've never had this issue with Flint, but my ex repeatedly peed at the foot of our bed when he was blasted... it was truely bizarre... he was 7 years older than me and there I was chasing him to the toilet telling him "put it where it goes for chrissake"

What a dipshit!

[ZenGum]

WTF?

I was going to say that Pooka's list looked quite reasonable and that I know of several people who have had journeys like yours.

Then I saw that last post and I wonder why it took you ten years to leave.

[Pooka]

I think it was mostly stubborn pride that prevented me from admitting I'd made a mistake... in retrospect I don't know either... change is never comfortable and I'm pretty persistant.

He didn't start the peeing until near the end... the first time he swore he was in the bathroom, but he was peeing on the wall in our room.

[ZenGum]

Well, on the bright side, he probably didn't leave the toilet seat up

[footfootfoot]

Zen, that is fucking funny!