Twilight tickets are sold out

[xoxoxoBruce]

Before I start out I want to make it clear that you if are a teenager/tween and are excited to go see Twilight more power to you. Enjoy it, have a great time, you will eventually grow past this stage in your life and look back at your pop culture choices with disappointment. We all do it… It is part of growing up. (I owned a Vanilla Ice CD…)

However if you are an adult shame on you, you have the IQ of a squeezable ketchup bottle and deserve to have a car battery shocking your testicles or ovaries. By supporting a lame book that is the literary equivalent of High School Musical 3 and a movie that looks like a low-grade snuff film maker shot it you allow these crappy trends to continue.

The cultural production geared towards teens is at an all time low. Millennials are having the worst shit ever produced for their age group. Worse than any other time except for the late 70s/early 80s. Everything is prepackaged, targeted for a certain market, and will have zero lasting cultural impact. Unlike other eras that brought us Elvis, the Beatles, John Hughes movies, rap, and Molly Ringwald, there is nothing lasting that is being produced today. The fact that adults are buying these items and lining up for midnight shows of a movie that has a 44 rating on Rotten Tomatoes is sad to me.

There is nothing wrong with liking cheesy shit. Soap operas, reality television, romance novels, NASCAR, anything written by Dan Brown, and the music of anyone ever associated with the band Creed all can be justified on some level. Cheesy crap meant for adults… It is all good. Watching classic movies that bond you with your childhood like ET and the Wizard of Oz or reading books like Bunnicula is understandable. They are timeless classics with wide appeal. But when adults fall for cheesy shit designed to tug on the heartstrings of a 14 year old tween girl I lose faith in humanity. Why not just go buy a Jonas Brothers Album and watch Gossip Girl while waiting for your phone to ring and someone to acknowledge your empty existence.

Now excuse me while I go and sit down to watch the entire “Charles in Charge” series box set.

BTW, you shouldn’t brag about reading Harry Potter either.

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