Beggars

[xoxoxoBruce]

Bah, don't ever give anything, to anyone, ever. Do I look like fucking Santa Clause?

[Cloud]

I never give money to men. Even in this day and age, men have a better chance of finding a job, and make more than women do. Fuck 'em.

I'll give food, though.

[DanaC]

I give if I am able to. I honestly don't care that they may take that money and put it towards drugs or alcohol. If they're addicts their need is as urgent as my need for food, until they are cured of their addiction...and living in a shop doorway is not the best environment in which to find peace and clean living.

I also will on occasion give food as well. If for example, I have just been into Gregs and bought a sandwich, I may offer to share.

Yeah. I give when I can, I give what I can. I have also begged.

[classicman]

Originally Posted by DanaC

I give if I am able to. I honestly don't care that they may take that money and put it towards drugs or alcohol. If they're addicts their need is as urgent as my need for food, until they are cured of their addiction...and living in a shop doorway is not the best environment in which to find peace and clean living.

Is giving when you know they are addicts actually helping or is it just enabling and prolonging the problem until they are "cured of their addiction" as you put it?

[Sundae]

Like Dana, I give what I can, when I can.
It's rare that the change in my pocket will mean more to me than it does to them - when it does, I look them in the eye and say, "Sorry, I have nothing."

I buy the Big Issue weekly - magazine that (registered) homeless sellers buy for 70p and sell for £1.50. I have a regular seller that I buy from, outside the Co-op. If I've bought it from someone else and have money in my pocket I will ask him if he wants anything from the shop. This varies from a banana, to a non-meat sandwich (I think he's Muslim - middle Eastern in appearance and accent) or a can of Red Bull (!). He recognises me, notices my hair changes and always says, "God bless you, God bless you!" Well, I don't mind that too much

I was brought up on the Gospel of St Matthew. Even my hard-bitten East End Nan used to give money to people on the street. Not beggars, but pavement artists, buskers, the performers in Covent Garden. Her credo was always - if they're that down on their luck they need it more than I do (she was a very proper lady and would have died rather than performed in public).

Also, we used to have charity collecters in town every Saturday. Our big thrill was to get 2p from Mum and run over to put the money in their collection tin. We'd get a big smile and a thank you and a sticker. I know "beggars" are not the same thing, but childhood experiences all count in this type of scenario.

PS - Bruce? I lol'd.

[bluecuracao]

Most of the panhandlers in Philadelphia are pros. I need my money much more than they do, so I hold on to it. The ones in my neighborhood know that I don't give, so they usually don't ask. But if they say hello, I'll smile and say hello back.

Once I asked a guy, who used to come into our store to exchange "Hard money for soft money" why he always had so much change. He replied, "It's what I do. It's my job." He told me on another occasion that he was an alcoholic and couldn't keep a regular job, so I guess his chosen profession was the only job he felt he could keep. He did pretty well--made enough to be able to eat at nice Old City restaurants once in a while.

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by classicman

Is giving when you know they are addicts actually helping or is it just enabling and prolonging the problem until they are "cured of their addiction" as you put it?

The reality of the situation, classic, is that they will get their drug come what may. My giving, or not....other passers by giving, or not will have no discernable effect on their addiction. Addicts don't give up drugs because they can't afford them. They simply find other, even less socially desirable ways of funding the habit. A full blown addiction outweighs everything else. And sometimes ... judge me if you will for this ... alcohol keeps you warmer in the night than a bowl of soup and a piece of bread. And if you have spiralled into a life wrapped in heroin and the rituals that go with it, the daily mission to achieve the next £10 or £20 wrap is your life. The earlier in the evening you can get hold of that solace, that absolute necessity if you are to get through the night without awful, rending, gut churning pain and distress, then the earlier you can begin finding somewhere to sleep and building up a bit of body heat in whatever space you find.

And y'never know. They may already have enough for that wrap, and yours might be the quid that buys them a meat pie or a cup of tea; a packet of fags, a toilet roll, tampons, the occasional call home to mum.

[wolf]

I've become fairly practiced at turning beggars down ... usually start by not making eye contact. Of course most of the beggars I'm dealing with are trying to game their way into the hospital AND to get a meal tray and maybe some cigarettes out of it.

I don't give out my own cigs any more, and only start microwaving a tray after the doctor has seen the person.

[Nirvana]

Originally Posted by classicman

I remember a recent visit to Philly with my sons where we were asked for money right outside a McDonalds. I refused him and we continued to go in and have lunch. My son asked if we could buy him lunch instead of giving him money he would probably waste. We did and he was most grateful for a warm meal.
Things your damn kids think of - eh?

Your children must have very good parents!

[DanaC]

*chuckles* yeah, I thought something similar when i read that.


oh and as a postscript to my earlier point: that's not to say I don't also walk past and pretend not to have seen at times as well. Depends on a bunch of considerations, like how broke or flush I am/feel, the weather, how much notice other people appear to be taking (if I get the impression other people are giving some, I may not do so myself on that occasion). It's very rare that I'll be in a city and not give something to beggars. It's not every time I go in town though. There are a couple of 'regulars' who I see from time to time. One of them, far too far gone to realise he's told me the exact same story about being stuck in this town and just needing to get train fare back, at least a dozen times. Another who is a hopeless alcoholic lady who always calls me duck and sits with her equally hopelessly alcoholic beau in the doorway of ladbrokes, next door to McD's.

[classicman]

Originally Posted by Nirvana

Your children must have very good parents!

Thanks, thats very nice of you to say.

[Clodfobble]

I'm genuinely surprised how few of us are in the "never" option. I think maybe we've got a little homeless-person Bradley effect going on here.

I give to actual charities, but specific people on the street? I've never even been tempted, not once. My first thought when someone approaches is actually, "Okay, are they just homeless, or is this one of the mentally unstable ones?" and I start considering escape options. I guess I'm heartless and paranoid.

[jinx]

The last "beggars" I came across were kids in Mexico... I gave them all the pesos in my pocket because and they let me take their pictures while they sang. Very sweet kids, as happy as they could be...
Generally if I have a little money handy and someone asks, I give them some. I don't care what they do with it, once I give it to them it's theirs. I'm not judging them or trying to change their lives and I think putting conditions on a gift is fucked up.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by jinx

Generally if I have a little money handy and someone asks, I give them some. I don't care what they do with it, once I give it to them it's theirs. I'm not judging them or trying to change their lives and I think putting conditions on a gift is fucked up.

Amen.

[classicman]

Dana - Only if and when an addict hits bottom, will there possibly be a change. I know this all too well, thank you. I lived the reality on both sides. "Helping" is preventing them from hitting bottom and thats all I was referring to. Giving food can be argued as doing the same thing in a sense. I'm just torn on this kinda issue. I wanna help, but I think sometimes I'm perpetuation the situation instead.