Humor...I Need Humor...

jester · 10-23-2008, 03:18 PM

How to be cruel to old guys...
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jester · 10-23-2008, 03:19 PM

A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up? You look so excited!"
The groom replies, "I just had the best blowjob I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
Now the bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honor notices this and says, "Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up? You look so excited!"
The bride replies, "I have just given the last blow job of my entire life."

Madman · 10-24-2008, 11:03 AM

A contribution to the "humor" thread...

Enjoy...

.............................................................................................
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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SteveDallas · 10-23-2008, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jester

How to be cruel to old guys...

Pfft... my eyesight's so bad, I could barely see the one at the top.

jester · 10-23-2008, 04:21 PM

It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old white man married a 20 year old white girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age? He answered "You've got to keep that old motor running."
The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said "You really are amazing. How do you do it? He again said "You've got to keep the old motor running."
The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said "You must be quite a man." He responded "You've got to keep that old motor running." The nurse then said, "Well, you better change the oil. This one's black."

10-23-2008, 03:18 PM	#1
jester why so serious Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,712	How to be cruel to old guys...

10-23-2008, 03:19 PM	#2
jester why so serious Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,712	A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up? You look so excited!" The groom replies, "I just had the best blowjob I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me." Now the bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honor notices this and says, "Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up? You look so excited!" The bride replies, "I have just given the last blow job of my entire life."

10-24-2008, 11:03 AM	#3
Madman has left the building. Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 455	A contribution to the "humor" thread... Enjoy... ............................................................................................. How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...' ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------

10-23-2008, 04:21 PM	#5
jester why so serious Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,712	It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old white man married a 20 year old white girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age? He answered "You've got to keep that old motor running." The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said "You really are amazing. How do you do it? He again said "You've got to keep the old motor running." The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said "You must be quite a man." He responded "You've got to keep that old motor running." The nurse then said, "Well, you better change the oil. This one's black."

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