Don't wast LJ's quiz!

[Undertoad]

1. How does one 'Jarf', mon.

According to Urban Dictionary,

When a man ass fucks another man without permission or when a woman using a dildo or a strap-on ass fucks a guy without permission.

2. How often do you change your sheets?

In recent years I have developed a highly acidic sweat, which I sweat at low levels at all times, giving my body a consistently clammy nature. This is difficult on sheets. But worse than that, over the last 10 years I have developed an uncanny ability to undo my head corner of the fitted sheet overnight. I attribute this to some sort of consistent clockwise rolling, combined with the acidy sweat. I often wake up with the bottom sheet folded as tightly as an accordion, drenched in cold nighttime fear. The last time I had to buy new sheets it was because the previous sheet was eaten through by my acidy sweat in a torn pattern, along the folds created by my rolling body, making it look like Kreuger had spontaneously taken a swipe at it.

So yeah, more often than most, maybe every two weeks.

3. Does Pat really have 2 penises?

That's ridiculous. Pat has hundreds.

4. Does the left brain know that love is fleeting?

The left brain is a slut.

5. What color is the number 2?

Shit brown, unless you're sick or drink a lot of red wine or pea soup.

6. Go back in time and kill one person in the cradle. who?

L. Ron Hubbard

7. crimson or clover?

They call Alabama the Crimson Tide, which is funny because that's what I call it when my old lady is on the rag.

8. Where's the beef?

I got no beef.

9. ketchup or mustard on your hotdog?

Yellow mustard, on the bun before dog is applied.

10. Which of the previous questions is the only one that really matters?

#1. It's the only question numbered "one".