religion and relationships

Number 2 Pencil · 09-10-2008, 08:48 PM

I don't quite understand my gf's thinking that can be summarized as: I love you but won't get to spend forever with you because you go to the bad place and I don't. That is a strange way to think it seems to me, but I have this idea that like some people of faith, logic shuts down when circling certain topics. I remember that clearly from my years as a die-hard blow-hard. (and it humbles me to wonder what blind-spots I still have or have picked up that I don't know about)

I don't know if she would become more closed-minded with time. She seems instead to be trending towards become more open-minded in the time that I have know her. But I see certain lines that cannot be crossed, and I wonder about such kinds of limitations.

And, as far as Catholics (Jesuits especially) go, they are reasonably open minded and logical about most things, like science and other religions... except, of course, for contraception and choice (even though their view has its own internally consistent logic which I bought into for way too long), but then those two points are among the reasons that I'm not Catholic any more.

This weekend (starting thursday, w00t) I am going on vacation with my girlfriend for a few days, while I don't want to bring up delicate issues during playtime, I do want to have some serious conversation time when we discuss the future. It would break my heart to discover some sort of dealbreaking issue, but now is a much better time to discover it than a year from now. And, hopefully, if we understand each other better, maybe some of the problems of child rearing can be discussed and dealt with with plenty of anticipation (and I mean plenty, as I don't see kids in the near future, I don't see having kids for at least a few more years)

Wolf, your position as a pagan paired with a christian is fascinating. It sounds like both of you talk a lot to each other about what each of you believe, and you are comfortable with each other. Sometimes it seems my gf is not comfortable with my confusing mix of beliefs, and that saddens me because I want to explore them and discuss them. Let me see how this weekend goes.

SteveDallas · 09-10-2008, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Number 2 Pencil

I don't know if she would become more closed-minded with time. She seems instead to be trending towards become more open-minded in the time that I have know her. But I see certain lines that cannot be crossed, and I wonder about such kinds of limitations.

The problem will come if she, now or later, decides that her faith requires her to convert you. (Of course this is only a specific instance of the old "I don't like X about my partner, but it's OK, I'll be able to convince them to change after we're married.)

xoxoxoBruce · 09-11-2008, 12:55 AM

The groom thinks the bride won't change.
The bride thinks the groom will change.
They're both wrong.

09-10-2008, 08:48 PM	#1
Number 2 Pencil Not too hard, not too soft Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Next to a yapping dog Posts: 75	I don't quite understand my gf's thinking that can be summarized as: I love you but won't get to spend forever with you because you go to the bad place and I don't. That is a strange way to think it seems to me, but I have this idea that like some people of faith, logic shuts down when circling certain topics. I remember that clearly from my years as a die-hard blow-hard. (and it humbles me to wonder what blind-spots I still have or have picked up that I don't know about) I don't know if she would become more closed-minded with time. She seems instead to be trending towards become more open-minded in the time that I have know her. But I see certain lines that cannot be crossed, and I wonder about such kinds of limitations. And, as far as Catholics (Jesuits especially) go, they are reasonably open minded and logical about most things, like science and other religions... except, of course, for contraception and choice (even though their view has its own internally consistent logic which I bought into for way too long), but then those two points are among the reasons that I'm not Catholic any more. This weekend (starting thursday, w00t) I am going on vacation with my girlfriend for a few days, while I don't want to bring up delicate issues during playtime, I do want to have some serious conversation time when we discuss the future. It would break my heart to discover some sort of dealbreaking issue, but now is a much better time to discover it than a year from now. And, hopefully, if we understand each other better, maybe some of the problems of child rearing can be discussed and dealt with with plenty of anticipation (and I mean plenty, as I don't see kids in the near future, I don't see having kids for at least a few more years) Wolf, your position as a pagan paired with a christian is fascinating. It sounds like both of you talk a lot to each other about what each of you believe, and you are comfortable with each other. Sometimes it seems my gf is not comfortable with my confusing mix of beliefs, and that saddens me because I want to explore them and discuss them. Let me see how this weekend goes. __________________ Is all that we see or seem But a dream within a dream? -Poe

09-11-2008, 12:55 AM	#3
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	The groom thinks the bride won't change. The bride thinks the groom will change. They're both wrong. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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