Elbows on the table

[Aliantha]

I remember one major row over a plate of curry. He actually tried the 'starving children in Africa would be grateful for the food' tactic. I said, in all seriousness "well, then send it to them."

I think most kids have used this line at one time or another. I know I did. And to me now as an adult, it's not about sending a plate of curry to Africa or south America or Asia. It's about being aware of how lucky we are in every little thing we do and have and take for granted. Something so simple as a plate of food which maybe we don't like the taste of, but shit there's a lot of people in the world who don't even have that in the evening to be thankful for.

This is the message I try to get through to my kids. To pass on to them as my parents did to me. To have a social conscience and not be greedy. To take just as much as I need and no more. Be thankful I could come back for seconds if I wanted to, and the same if I'm serving out dinner for them. Give them as much as they need and no more. I can't believe a parent worth half their salt doesn't know how much their child will eat in a sitting in order to be full and healthy.

[morethanpretty]

Sometimes I find myself leaning on the table, but stop after I notice. Usually the tables are too tall for me to put my elbow on unconsciously anyway. At home it doesn't matter to me, I'm usually eating alone or with the roomie sitting on the couch, leaning over the coffee table. Not much different from my parent's, except they have TV trays. I guess I would find it rude for someone to be eating with their elbows on the table, but either I've never noticed it or I only eat with very well mannered people. "Smacking" or chewing with your mouth open is gross and noisy. My sister used to accuse me of it all time, even to the point of making me cry. What would happen: I would take a bite that was a bit too big for my mouth, and that combined would cause the need for me to slightly open my mouth once or twice while adjusting the food. No one else would even notice and she would flip out. Also according to her I made a lot of noise in just my regular chewing. Again, no one else has ever mentioned it. I do have a problem with eating and talking because I often say something whenever it pops into my head. So something will occur to me, and I'll forget I have food in my mouth when I voice it. I hate that I do that.

Thank you, Jinx, for putting such thought into your post about the "eating everything on your plate" debate, now I don't have to.
I don't think a child should be indulged with snacks later, and especially unhealthy ones. That happened with a cousin and she has severe weight problems. Just that if they don't want to eat it all then, than they shouldn't have too. Appetites aren't always consistent from day to day and although I'm not saying the parents are putting an unreasonable amount on the plate, its still a guess as to how much the kid needs. In that case you should listen when they want to stop, and if they're hungry and want more later they can have the leftover. Not snacks or dessert. Ali, I'm glad you're working instilling your children with a thankfulness for their privileges, and I'm sure it will pay off. I was the snotty little kids who when my mom told me,"You could have a much worse mom than I am." I'd reply, "Yeah, but I could also have a much better one."