Tales from the Nuthouse: Lest You Think I have a Really Cool Job

[wolf]

I should know by now that if I'm heading to work, and I see two cop cars and an ambulance ahead of me on the driveway, it's probably not a good thing.

I should know by now that if I'm parking at work and I see the cop cars pull in to an area they usually wouldn't and notice that the officers have their hands on their guns, it's probably not a good thing.

I should know by now that if I see the Commitment and Crisis Supervisors standing outside near the smoking post, and both of them quit smoking a couple of years ago, it's probably not a good thing.

I should know a lot of things by now.

So, there I am, innocently pulling in to work. I hear a bit of a ruckus. Someone in an old piece of shit Nissan Sentra is blowing their horn like a madman. Literally.

This is the vehicle that everyone's attention is focused on. Cops, supervisors, ambulance guys, criminal justice director and about a half-dozen guys from nursing. They're trying to talk to this guy in the car. It's not going well. I couldn't see using my car mirrors, and I figured out and able to run beats stuck in the car, right? So I got out of my car for a better view.

Dude wasn't much for talking, kept screaming, but not really saying much other than he wasn't going to get out of the car. All of the interior doors were locked. He hadn't driven himself, an acquaintance had (that'll show her about being a good Samaritan!). She had her five year old son with her, so this could have been a lot scarier situation had the fellow wigged out before she and the kid got out of the car.

At one point they were trying to get the car door open. Dude didn't like that and all I could see was a flash of fluorescent green diving from the frontseat to the backseat of the car and a flash of gray as one of our ambulance guys ran away like the devil was after him. He then started burrowing through the back seat to get into the trunk. Late 1980s Sentras didn't have fancy fold down rear seats. He pulled the upholstery off to get into the trunk.

That's the point at which I decided that while I was watching I should be standing in a place so my engine block was between me and the trunk of that car ... there still wasn't any reliable information about whether he was armed. I was especially glad of my decision when I noticed that one of the officers had her Taser out, and the other his pistol.

Eventually they got a door unlocked (no idea why breaking a window wasn't their first option) and tried to drag the guy back through the seat ... not only was he uncooperative about that, but he was a big guy and really didn't fit through the seat frame. Maybe it was one of those one-way only deals? You know, like putting a pool ball in your mouth?

The owner of the car had said that there wasn't a trunk key or a trunk release, but turned out that the ignition key did open the trunk ... dude got pulled out of the trunk and restrained to a litter right there in the parking lot, all the while screaming "They're on the roof, there's going to shoot me!"

We sent to him the medical hospital, just in case he was on PCP or something ... turned out he wasn't.

He just freaks out every now and again.

Five or so hours later he was still crazy, but less so, and at least was relatively quiet and cooperative, with no memory of what had happened in our parking lot.

I think I'll remember it for a while, though. Even I don't usually have to wonder if I'm going to get shot as I'm walking into work.

Oh, that ambulance that came in ahead of the police? Totally unrelated. Just some drunk being brought in for detox.

[SteveDallas]

Originally Posted by wolf

Five or so hours later he was still crazy, but less so, and at least was relatively quiet and cooperative, with no memory of what had happened in our parking lot.

I think I'll remember it for a while, though.

What's your intake rate for former and/or current staff?

[Griff]

It all sounds so glamorous, how can I get in the nut harvesting business?

[wolf]

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

What's your intake rate for former and/or current staff?

Counting the psychiatrist who went catatonic in the chart room?

Lower than you might think. I know that several people have gotten quietly sent off to rehab a couple of times, and we had this really bad run of "Peer Specialists." A "Peer Specialist" is a recovered nut/druggie who works with patients. They are supposed to have a special kind of street cred with other nuts/druggies.

Unfortunately, not all of them are recovered enough to do this. We lost one or two of them shortly before they began working, and the other had been doing really well, but the stress got to him and he started using drugs again (after five or so years or so sobriety). The supervisors in our department (who spent the most time with him) were the last to figure it out, even after money started disappearing from the safe and dude would be really jumpy right before lunch and really calm afterwards. There was a tense couple of weeks with the "new clock radio" in our copier/safe room ... the cool part about the hidden camera was that it actually told time and had a decent radio tuner on it.

And then there was the fellow who replaced the druggie, who wasn't a peer specialist but might as well have been. He was the one who got caught by Perverted Justice (yes, the people from the Dateline episodes). He was using computers in our office to chat with someone he thought was a 13 year old girl.

And years ago there was a young lady who had worked as an intern in our medical records department that became psychotic. She has some good periods of stability, but lately she's been in and out.

Guess there were more than I thought. But given the number of employees we have, it's still a pretty low number.

Last night ended with our getting a crazy nurse from another facility. She was a treat. Think of the crankiest nurse you know, and then imagine her hearing voices.

Made Nurse Ratched seem like a real sweetheart.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by wolf

A "Peer Specialist" is a recovered nut/druggie who works with patients. They are supposed to have a special kind of street cred with other nuts/druggies.

And a great way to get source leads.