Even The Birds

Clodfobble · 07-11-2008, 02:18 PM

On a second read-through, I'm not sure I get the whole "package of white powder" thing. In fact, I'm not sure why Bentley needs to be talking on the phone at all, either time. Why does he have a conspirator (Vern) in his quality corn-fertilizing?

It's not really necessary to show that something sinister is up, beyond the suspicious tale of Marge's death. If you cut VI and VII, and trim V a bit, it still flows properly into VIII.

07-11-2008, 02:18 PM	#1
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	On a second read-through, I'm not sure I get the whole "package of white powder" thing. In fact, I'm not sure why Bentley needs to be talking on the phone at all, either time. Why does he have a conspirator (Vern) in his quality corn-fertilizing? It's not really necessary to show that something sinister is up, beyond the suspicious tale of Marge's death. If you cut VI and VII, and trim V a bit, it still flows properly into VIII. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

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