Kid's sports - Revenge of the Coaches

[lookout123]

HA! We won't win all our games this session but the kids will pull together when it counts. Always good to win the session opener. Full match report to follow.

[xoxoxoBruce]

The only reason you might not win all your games, is your hangup about good sportsmanship and the good of the kids.

[hideouse]

Good on ya mate! If I were near you I'd be dragging my kids to train with you, even if They couldn't get on the field. YOU DA MAN!

[lookout123]

This morning was the first game of this session. The roster had changed yet again since the final roster had been posted on Wednesday, and Monday, and the previous Wednesday. This time they removed a new girl who hadn't come to practice and added a new boy who didn't come to the game. That meant that we had 7 players, my 6 returning kids plus the new boy who had come to practice. That's ok, it takes 7 to field a team and we had 7 there. Who needs a sub, right?

The team we were playing was none other than the one coached by my new BFF, Mr KnuckleCrunching BallJuggler. This is the team that managed to steal C, one of my best players from last session. Of course, it is also the team that somehow managed to end up with 5 kids he used to coach at another club. Weird how that works, huh?

I was there early to get my kids' uniforms ready and was watching the game before ours. It sucked. Jumble ball to the max. I have not seen that poor of a showing in this age group at the club before. The director walked up to me and made a comment about how good it was to see that all the teams seemed to be evenly matched. The first game had been decided by one point, the second by 2, and the current one was tied at 2 apiece. I tried vainly to hold my retort in but, "Do you really think it is a good thing that we have at least six teams who are complete shit?" escaped my mouth. He wasn't amused. Fine, I didn't mean it to be amusing. Our club is generally known for decent quality without the jumble ball that is the stereotypical kids' soccer. I'm pretty concerned about what I saw today and how it will reflect on the club if it wasn't a one off fluke day.

Anyway, it was time for our game. The other team had bigger kids and more of them without a single girl on the team. I know a couple of the kids to be real players as they've been around awhile. I lined my kids up in a pretty neutral manner with my weakest goalie in the box, two decent defenders, the new boy and my wallflower girl as forwards, and Lil Lookout and B in the midfield so they could go forward if they could, but could also drop back and pick up the defensive pieces if we were being pushed around. The whistle blew and then so did the game. Jumble Ball. A complete and utter cluster fuck. My kids all looked confused when a tripping pushing yelling mass of orange shirts started moving all over the field as if they were all tied together at the waste. No structure, no positioning, no direction from the sideline. My kids were so flustered by what they saw that we gave up a point in the third minute. That snapped them back to life and they started to play.

The problem is that it is hard to play well when the opposition plays jumble ball. My kids had possession and LL and B took shot after shot only to watch it bounce off one of the 7 orange jerseys running around the goalbox. LL got frustrated and then bored before retreating back to the center circle where he just stood and watched the strange situation. Soon B did the same thing. So now I have a bored goalie, two bored defenders, two extremely bored and annoyed midfielders, and two forwards bouncing around like pinballs in a sea of orange. At one point the ball rolled out of the mess straight to LL. No one came out to pressure him. He was so bored with the whole thing he stood in the center circle and started juggling the ball in his awkward, just learning how way. When he popped it up and kicked the ball towards the goal he just shook his head in disbelief that he had held the ball for nearly 30 seconds without a single player coming near him. From that point on any time the ball came out, LL, B and the defenders would just pass it around for awhile before taking an outside shot just to put the ball back near their goal. B finally moved up and started shooting again and managed to put a couple points in.

At the half the other coach brought his best player out of the goal. He never should have been in there considering the kid was his best ball handler. Of course he put a kid in who had never played goal before but that only lasted about three seconds because he threw the ball at the new keeper to give him the ball... and it smacked the unprepared kid in the face. That keeper came out crying with a bloody nose and another went in. After that the game opened up a bit. It was still dodgy at best, but at least they spread out a bit more. LL was in the goal with a decent defense. B and the new kid, C, were up front. The new kid can't really shoot, pass, or dribble but he runs a lot. K was in the right place to score off a deflection. Then C did the same. The scoreline was 4-1 in our favor. LL came out of the goal but he and B just weren't shooting. I pulled B off the field and asked him what was going on (I know I'll get a straight answer from him rather than LL's hemming and hawing). It turns out that LL and B had overheard someone talking and were afraid that if they scored they'd break our team up and they wouldn't play together anymore. Who did they hear talking? The other coach, of course. Bullshit. I pulled both of the boys off the field and played short for a couple minutes while I talked to them. The other team scored two points but nobody seemed to mind much. I told both boys that I expect them to go out and play as hard as they could because this is a game. You come to play and you hope to win. I assured them that no matter what the scoreboard said they would still be playing together next week. I put them both back in and told them that as long as they each scored once with their left foot they could do anything they wanted. They were both all smiles when they went back out and for the first time, my kids started playing like the team I know they are. Not great individual players, but a good team. In the next ten minutes LL scored six points and B scored four. The other coach walked over and demanded to know what the hell I was doing. He is probably still trying to figure out how "blow me" answered that question. With 30 seconds left B played the most delightful 3/4 of the field, sliderule pass to LL and after LL tapped it in around the keeper the two of them ran back to the center circle and did a passable impression of the Samba. Cocky? Sure. Funny? Oh, yeah.

I gathered the kids and we did the usual cheer for the other team before shaking hands. The two teams shook hands and joked around with each other. The coach didn't say a word to any of my players before giving me a knuckle grinder handshake and staring me down while I smiled and told him, "don't worry man, it's hard when you have a bunch of kids you've never coached before". I'm still not sure if he realizes I know he brought some of these kids from another club and he had taken one of my best players.

C - my old player- was pretty upset after the game because he doesn't like being on the other team and he wants to come back. He cheered up a bit when I reminded him he was still going to play in a tournament I registered some of them for next weekend.

My dad had been sitting in the stands listening to other parents complain about stacked teams and making crappy comments about LL and B not belonging there. Whatever. They're still the two youngest on the team and would be playing kids 3-4 years older than them if I moved them up so the haters can bite it.

The sad thing is that no one seems to realize that the other team had more individual skill, they were bigger, and they had subs. Not a single one asked "what should our coach be doing differently?" because they were too busy believing the deck was stacked against them. Ah, the cult of victimhood and the joy it sucks from their lives.

The kids played well and had fun. What more can you ask for?

Until next time, keep the Samba going.

1-0-0

[xoxoxoBruce]

The US Olympic team needs you.

[classicman]

Is cloning possible yet? We need about a dozen of you out east.

[Clodfobble]

Here's what I think. You should start the game with your team, and then when you are up by at least 5 and the other side is bitching about it being stacked, trade teams. Just trade, mid-game. Tell LL to play as well as he can, but obey the other coach's instructions, whatever they might be. When your "new" team is well ahead, switch back and bring your team from behind. Do this as many times as is necessary to prove that the jumbleball coach sucks.

[lookout123]

That would be hilarious and an awesome challenge but I'm afraid that if I ever suggested something like that my family would have to identify my remains.

[classicman]

Ohh but L123 - you should still submit the idea to your "fearless leader" He might actually think about its feasibility for awhile. Then again, he may bring up the idea at the next bored meeting. This could be fun. Think of how the other coaches will be squirming too - lol.

[lookout123]

I really don't know what they're complaining about. It's not as if my kids can do this:

[Flint]

Those guys rock. First the chicks are checking them out, and then the cops show up. Two things that always go together.

[lookout123]

Except in this case it wasn't preceded by "here, hold my beer".

[lookout123]

Ha! Waiting for me in my email this morning was a forward. This email has bounced back and forth among several coaches and parents at the club with everyone getting their $.02 in. It started with one coach questioning how my team ends up near the top of the standings every session if teams are picked fairly. Several people piled on with the "yeah!" type of huffing and puffing. Then one glorious example of intellect and integrity stepped up and informed everyone that my team has/had 8 different club players on the roster over the last year. One person did step up and point out that some of those kids just went to tryouts for the first time this month and weren't officially on the team yet.

I got to thinking about that and composed a simple reply acknowledging that I have, in fact, had 8 different club players in my squad over the last 12 months. Then I pointed out that not a single one of those players was a club player when they came to my team. In fact six of them just went to there first club tryout this month. I picked kids I liked, often who had parents that I had witnessed being good sports around the complex. I coached them, encouraged them, and where I saw something extra I encouraged the parents to consider club tryouts. I begged, borrowed, stole, and in one case paid to get them all a tryout with the club team when they were completely under the radar. Then I ran through the individuals.

Lil Lookout: Then:When he first stepped on the field nobody wanted him because he was too small. One of the reasons I stepped in as coach - no one wanted to be responsible for him getting hurt. Even now people who don't know him say he's too small because he easily gives up 15 lbs to his peers. Now: People complain he should move up an age group even though he still has a year and a half eligibility in this league.

B: Then: No one wanted him because he is hyperactive and ADD. Now: they comment about how he is a tireless fighter with a lust for goals.

They are both on my team now.

C1: Then: He was never picked by the same coach twice in a row because they didn't know what to do with him. Now: He is a 1st choice defender or midfielder and a 2nd choice keeper.

C2: Then: No one wanted him because he's just happy go lucky and not competitive. Now: he's an excellent midfielder who is willing to play any position you ask him to.

K: Then: No one wanted him because he is even smaller (a year younger) than Lil Lookout and doesn't have the nose for goal that he does. Now: He's an awesome natural left footer who leads the league in assists.

L: Then: Too slow. Too quiet. Not a fighter. Now: Knows he isn't fast but has developed awesome positional awareness and is an excellent defensive midfielder and a decent keeper.

M: Then: Good player but uninterested. Now: The total package. Big, can shoot, pass, dribble, and is unbeatable as a defesnsive midfielder. Just don't yell or he shuts off and is done. Don't make him tie his shoes either, he is uncomfortable with anything tight on his feet. weird, but true.

G: Then: Big and good positional sense but doesn't shoot well. Now: The single most powerful striker in the league. I don't like blocking his shots because they HURT. The key is he may be left handed and do everything else as a dominant left... but not shoot a soccer ball. His right foot is deadly anywhere from center field in.

All of these boys has been moved from my team for one reason or another. Two of them moved when their dad/dad's friend started coaching, two moved to the next age group, one only plays club now, one was taken to another team this session.

I suggested that instead of assuming I had stacked teams, consider that I saw kids whose talent wasn't being tapped and then gave them some encouragement as they became confident in their skills. I suggested that in the developmental league MAYBE we shouldn't be so concerned with the final score as we are with giving kids confidence to step out of their comfort zone by giving them permission to make mistakes without worrying about the consequences. I pointed out that my current team has less skill per child than the other teams in the league but can still hold it's own in games. Why? Because they are having fun they play hard and work as a team, this leads to them winning. It works in that order. They don't work hard, play as a team, and have fun because they win. Get the priorities straight.

It didn't take long for the replies to come flying back in that it is easy to have an attitude like that when my team is unbeatable. OK, seriously? Did you not even read what I wrote? I invited them to come to the tournament on saturday and watch what happens. It is a club tournament that Lil Lookout would have played in anyway, but some kids were getting left out because the rosters are locked at 7 players. So I took (with the director's blessing) Lil Lookout and formed a second team to put in the tournament.

Lil Lookout and D (the keeper) are the only two regular club players. K, J, C1, C2, and B all just tried out for the team but haven't played for a club yet. So I am effectively taking a team of rec kids to a club tournament. The tournament is for all players 8 years and under. I'm taking one 8 year old, two 7 year olds, three 6 year olds, and a 5 year old(almost 6). They've never played or practiced as a unit, but each one has played at least a couple games with at least one other person on the team. We won't win the tournament but we should win at least two games out of the five we are guaranteed. I think we will at least be competitive in the others. I guarantee they'll walk away smiling regardless of the point total.

Anyway, I threw down the challenge that if I can take this group into this tournament and win at least two games the haters have to drop the issue until the end of the session. Then we will discuss what changes we can make to our coaching program instead of trying to fix the problem by moving kids all over the place and separating them from their friends. We will work on coaching personalities and kids instead of jamming skills and drills down their throats like they're all little clones.

Keep your fingers crossed.

[lookout123]

Ha! All that planning and nothing to show for it. The tournament was cancelled. A few weeks ago I spoke with the people in charge of the tournament and was told that they already had six teams for that bracket, but they would make room for my teams. I put together two complete, equally balanced teams for the 8 and under age bracket, and one team for the 10 and under bracket. Trust me when I say it wasn't easy to get parent buy in for the middle of a holiday weekend. Two days before the tournament I heard a rumor which I explored and found to be fact. The only three teams in those two age groups were the ones that I assembled and registered. The other teams fell away for one reason or another. Anyway, no tournament.

It was really weird and awkward not having any soccer games for the weekend. Lil Lookout, 2.0, and I just sat around staring at each other Saturday morning for awhile before we realized we had better go find something to do. Talk about creatures of routine.

There will be no updates for this thread for the next couple weeks because we leave for Hawaii early Saturday morning. That means I had to find someone willing to step in and coach in my absence. No problem. I also had to find someone to coach them the way I like. Not a huge problem. I got B's dad to cover for the next couple weeks and possibly longer.

Coaching is going to be a bit difficult for me for awhile. I've had a string of injuries for going on 9 months now. Last fall I picked up playing in an outdoor league in addition to my normal indoor leagues. It was a blast and I had a load of fun, but I should have dropped another league rather than playing more. The body just isn't as young as it used to be. It all started out with a back injury from a slide tackle I suffered. I kept playing and was ok, but then the last game of that season I suffered a horrible groin pull. I've never had that before and should have taken some time off to heal, but I'm not that smart so I kept playing. The cycle really started there. Because the pain was pretty intense I fell out of my normal exercise routine and just played my games with plenty of advil. I would be pain free just in time for the first game of the week and in real pain by the last game of the week. But I kept going. I knew I was getting slower and not playing as well but I kept going. Pulled hamstring. Kept going. Back again. Kept playing. Twisted ankle. Kept playing. About a month or so ago I pulled the groin muscle again, but it felt worse. It went up higher. Then to my horror I realized in the shower that my six pack had become a seven pack. I tore the muscle and have a hernia. I knew I was going to have to have surgery for that, but wanted to wait until June when I got back from Hawaii. So I kept playing.

Murphy and his Law have passed judgement on my stubborn stupidity. I know full well that if you don't take the time to heal from injury that you will pick up other injuries as the body compensates. I knew that is what I was doing all year. But I kept going right up until Mr Murphy said "OK dumbass, it's time for you to take a break."

It was the Championship game for my Friday night team and my knee felt a little wonky during warm ups. I was going to take it fairly easy and planned to sub out a lot. Then fate intervened and put us in a situation with no substitutes. OK, whatever I warned everyone that I wouldn't be running as much as usual because my knee was sore. 45 seconds into the game I cleared the ball from the top of the goalbox when I felt my left knee give out. And then start burning. A lot. Like someone was holding a lighter to my skin. I knew that wasn't good so I hung back on defense for the next five minutes waiting for it to subside. We had no subs so I couldn't go out. Over the course of the game I discovered that kicking forward or in towards my body caused no discomfort. Lifting my foot up towards my butt or moving my foot out to the side gave me a pain that I can only equate to someone ripping my testicles out through the back of my knee.

Normally my greatest contribution on the field is my speed. I nearly always win the 50/50 ball. That night running was pretty much out ofthe question. I could do it and felt no pain during the effort, but after I stopped my leg was on fire. Strangely, I played one of the best games I have in quite some time. I scored a hattrick ( including a goal from center circle) - which is a once a year event for me. Yes, I know that common sense should have told me to sit out and ice the knee but I figured the damage was already done and if I was going to miss some time from the game I was going to enjoy this one night. We won the game 9-7.

Now I can't even play with the kids like normal. My knee is shot. So I am now relegated to coaching from a distance in a more hands off fashion. That's where B's dad comes in. He is going to fill in for me until I can fully recover.

When I get back from Hawaii I have an appointment with the doc for the hernia and the knee. I'm probably looking at two surgeries (depending on cost) and at least a couple months with no soccer.

[kerosene]

Ooh, that sucks, Lookout! I hope you relax and get a little healing on some of these injuries over your holiday. In fact, you are probably already there. Anyway, I am sorry to hear you are in so much pain!