Well it's been over three weeks now, which sometimes sounds laughable, and sometimes sounds like something I should get a standing ovation for.
I've been to two AA meetings - I'm courting them for when my current group therapy finishes in 2.5 weeks time. The temptation is still very much there and I don't want to be cut loose with no help as I fear I will listen to the drink voice in my head once the structure of three weekly meetings finishes.
On the one hand I do not want to be 22 years sober and still be attending AA like on of the women in the meeting last night. On the other hand if I can walk down the street mourning the fact that I will never surrender my conscious mind to alcohol again I obviously still have work to do. As I was walking home last night I was seriously considering going to buy some Night Nurse as someone at the meeting mentioned coming off alcohol and getting hallucinations from necking a bottle when she was ill. I thought it would be an interesting experience and after all HM would never know I knew it contained alcohol...
Ahem. Have to remember that managing to hide it is only succeeding in lying to myself. I have more self respect than that and I have pride and dignity. Or at least I'm committed to the idea of fake it til you make it.
Hope everyone else is doing as well as they intended.
__________________
Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac
|