04/24/03: Negative Impulses

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
I suppose it's the normal thing for people to constantly be saying "what if" in their heads. That's how we keep out of harms way. Occasionally "what if" will run into "why not" and cause us to make conscious decisions of what are usually subconscious ones.

Heh. You obviously don't have the problem then, because it's nothing like that. It's not at all thinking "hey, why not?" - it's almost like there's a force inside me that's willing me toward the edge, and my brain is going "no! no! that's stupid! no!" It's really a strange strange thing, because it's as if the brain has nothing to do with it. It's hard to describe, but the people that experience it know exactly what I'm talking about.