shrinkage

Brett's Honey · 11-30-2007, 11:18 PM

As far as "there's always someone worse off than you", I know exactly what Smurf means, but I cannot put it into any better words either...but when my daughter was terminal at 2 1/2, after a 13 mo. battle with childhood cancer, whenever I was at my lowest "why me / poor me" place, I would always run into someone I felt was a little worse off than me.
At one low point while spending one of many weeks in the hospital - Sheena was about 19 months old and having a week long chemo treatment, I ran into a 21 yr old girl who had a 3 yr. old daughter who had brain cancer and a 6 mo. old son having open heart surgery. One kid was on the 2nd floor, the other one on the 4th floor on the other side of the big hospital. The young mom was running back and forth trying to take care of both her kids all alone.
Those kind of things did always seem to happen when I was at my lowest.
I am so sorry for how you're feeling, Bri. It SO SUCKS!
We're here, please stay strong for yourself and your son. And DO keep us updated often, please!

Urbane Guerrilla · 12-01-2007, 04:19 AM

shoot · 12-06-2007, 03:54 AM

I am very sorry to hear that your treatment isnt working as well as hoped. I can totally understand the emotional roller coaster you are riding today. I was diagnosed with lymphoma when I was 21,that was 20 years ago. Like you I went through the chemo,mine was AVBD:Adriamycin(a really pretty shade of red that burned like hell when it was pumping in),Velban(derived from the periwinkle flower and a compound that my father actually worked on at Lillys,he told me that when it was his turn to drive me to treatment),Bleomycin(clear solution didnt hurt anymore than the saline)and Dacarbazine((milky white and freezing cold would bring on chills and a blanket from the nurse). Its a very rough road you are on and I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. I remember my first treatment I came out and felt fine even stopped at a hotdog cart and had a dog,a couple hours later and I was on the floor by the toilet generally for 12-14 hours. I guess by my third treatment I was gagging and nauseous halfway through the treatment. Towards the end of the regiment just the smell of rubbing alchohol would make me sweat and gag. Bald, not a hair left on my body. Weight loss 25 pounds from a slim 180 that to this very day I have yet to see again. The hair grows back soft like a babys hair its really nice and will start returning right about the time you lose all of your hair,its very fine so you may not even notice it at first but it will grow back while you are still taking treatments. I only took the Ativan one time and I thought it made me sicker sure as hell didnt help. You need to hook up some good weed its the only thing that ever made me feel better. Try some maybe 36 hours after treatment when your head is starting to clear a bit but you feel like death warmed over. You live in Ohio and have maybe the most liberal pot laws in the lower 48,up to 96 grams is equivalent to a traffic ticket. I always had a big fat bottle of Percocet and if you dont have the same or eqivalent you need a new doctor,life is sucking bad enough no sense in you enduring unnecessary pain. If the chemo does fail you there are many other options for treatment that you can seek out. I know how hard it is to eat,nothing ever sounds good,nothing tastes good but you really have to force yourself to eat. If nothing else eat junk,ice cream pie cake cookies whatever it is its better than nothing. Its so awful I feel so bad for you,sometimes its like every inch of you hurts,brushing your teeth and any sort of bold taste can be a very painful experience,use that sensodyne toothpaste if you dont allready,it helps alot. I know that strong smells would really bother me with perfume being the worst along with strong smelling food. Baby soap and baby shampoo have very mild smells you might try some of those.Basically they are pumping drano mixed with clorox into your veins every week or so and you have to ride it out. Its so hard to go anywhere because you feel like crap almost all the time,you may feel good for an hour or two and get ready to go out and lay on the bed for a second then its tomorrow. Its a very strange existence the slow poisoning. I mean here this may be the end of your life and you want to do so many things to try and live it but your are being poisoned and can hardly pull yourself off the floor or the bed most days. I wish I could do more to help you feel better,just dont lose hope and give up,thats just what it wants. You need not look to others who have it worse to find comfort,think of how many have lived much shorter lives even if they live one day less than you,you have had a better life. Try and do things that create wonderful memories new things that you will never forget. If when we die we can take anything with us the only things they could possibly be are memories.

monster · 12-06-2007, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shoot

If when we die we can take anything with us the only things they could possibly be are memories.

:tears:

Our school lost a mom to cancer yesterday. This helped, thanks.

12-01-2007, 04:19 AM	#2
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	__________________ Wanna stop school shootings? End Gun-Free Zones, of course.

11-30-2007, 11:18 PM	#1
Brett's Honey whatever Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 308	As far as "there's always someone worse off than you", I know exactly what Smurf means, but I cannot put it into any better words either...but when my daughter was terminal at 2 1/2, after a 13 mo. battle with childhood cancer, whenever I was at my lowest "why me / poor me" place, I would always run into someone I felt was a little worse off than me. At one low point while spending one of many weeks in the hospital - Sheena was about 19 months old and having a week long chemo treatment, I ran into a 21 yr old girl who had a 3 yr. old daughter who had brain cancer and a 6 mo. old son having open heart surgery. One kid was on the 2nd floor, the other one on the 4th floor on the other side of the big hospital. The young mom was running back and forth trying to take care of both her kids all alone. Those kind of things did always seem to happen when I was at my lowest. I am so sorry for how you're feeling, Bri. It SO SUCKS! We're here, please stay strong for yourself and your son. And DO keep us updated often, please!

12-06-2007, 03:54 AM	#3
shoot Smooth Ruffian Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: central KY Posts: 47	I am very sorry to hear that your treatment isnt working as well as hoped. I can totally understand the emotional roller coaster you are riding today. I was diagnosed with lymphoma when I was 21,that was 20 years ago. Like you I went through the chemo,mine was AVBD:Adriamycin(a really pretty shade of red that burned like hell when it was pumping in),Velban(derived from the periwinkle flower and a compound that my father actually worked on at Lillys,he told me that when it was his turn to drive me to treatment),Bleomycin(clear solution didnt hurt anymore than the saline)and Dacarbazine((milky white and freezing cold would bring on chills and a blanket from the nurse). Its a very rough road you are on and I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. I remember my first treatment I came out and felt fine even stopped at a hotdog cart and had a dog,a couple hours later and I was on the floor by the toilet generally for 12-14 hours. I guess by my third treatment I was gagging and nauseous halfway through the treatment. Towards the end of the regiment just the smell of rubbing alchohol would make me sweat and gag. Bald, not a hair left on my body. Weight loss 25 pounds from a slim 180 that to this very day I have yet to see again. The hair grows back soft like a babys hair its really nice and will start returning right about the time you lose all of your hair,its very fine so you may not even notice it at first but it will grow back while you are still taking treatments. I only took the Ativan one time and I thought it made me sicker sure as hell didnt help. You need to hook up some good weed its the only thing that ever made me feel better. Try some maybe 36 hours after treatment when your head is starting to clear a bit but you feel like death warmed over. You live in Ohio and have maybe the most liberal pot laws in the lower 48,up to 96 grams is equivalent to a traffic ticket. I always had a big fat bottle of Percocet and if you dont have the same or eqivalent you need a new doctor,life is sucking bad enough no sense in you enduring unnecessary pain. If the chemo does fail you there are many other options for treatment that you can seek out. I know how hard it is to eat,nothing ever sounds good,nothing tastes good but you really have to force yourself to eat. If nothing else eat junk,ice cream pie cake cookies whatever it is its better than nothing. Its so awful I feel so bad for you,sometimes its like every inch of you hurts,brushing your teeth and any sort of bold taste can be a very painful experience,use that sensodyne toothpaste if you dont allready,it helps alot. I know that strong smells would really bother me with perfume being the worst along with strong smelling food. Baby soap and baby shampoo have very mild smells you might try some of those.Basically they are pumping drano mixed with clorox into your veins every week or so and you have to ride it out. Its so hard to go anywhere because you feel like crap almost all the time,you may feel good for an hour or two and get ready to go out and lay on the bed for a second then its tomorrow. Its a very strange existence the slow poisoning. I mean here this may be the end of your life and you want to do so many things to try and live it but your are being poisoned and can hardly pull yourself off the floor or the bed most days. I wish I could do more to help you feel better,just dont lose hope and give up,thats just what it wants. You need not look to others who have it worse to find comfort,think of how many have lived much shorter lives even if they live one day less than you,you have had a better life. Try and do things that create wonderful memories new things that you will never forget. If when we die we can take anything with us the only things they could possibly be are memories.

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