Sitting on the fence....

[ZenGum]

Urge your friend - and J - to consult a lawyer first.
I recall a case a few years ago, I'm pretty sure it was in Australia, I think it was in Victoria. A couple of lesbians wanted a baby, and a (male) friend was willing to donate his sperm. They agreed that he would have no rights or responsibilities at all, no child support, no access, nothing. Conception was successful. A year or two later, things had gone pear-shaped (can't remember the details) and wound up in court. Judge ruled that the man did have parental rights and responsibilities, despite all parties agreeing in advance, in writing, that he would not. Crucial in this judgment was that they had had regular genital sex to conceive. Apparently if they had done a hand-job-turkey-baster method the parental status would not have arisen. Go figure.

My memory is a little hazy here, many of the details could be inaccurate, but the gist is pretty solid. Especially the bit about the technique mattering so much, that was why I remembered it at all.

Good luck to her.