My friend is probably dying

SamIam · 10-04-2007, 12:08 PM

Thanks for the input, everybody. The doctor did not mention to my friend that he should get on the transplant list which seems a rather ominous omission to me. I know those lists can be a couple of years long - maybe more.

My friend has been getting pretty sick, often can't hold down food, is in constant pain from the area of his liver, etc. The Doc gave him a bunch of pain pills which seem to help a little. I've been reluctant to do the research on the Net for fear of what I will find out. I'm sort of in denial right now that there is a very high probability I am going to have to watch my friend die.

This really, really sucks. My thanks to all who replied. It helps to get it all out - even to a group of strangers on the Net.

Mercenary, where did you get your info on the liver?

Cicero · 10-04-2007, 12:53 PM

Anecdote:

Yeah. I just got a 3rd opinion on my husband's "Lymphoma". He does not have Lymphoma. It does not hurt to get other opinions. I just visited that hell for a couple weeks. Make damned sure. I went to "specialists" and they seemed pretty unenthused about his condition. I took him to another city through the ER yesterday,(everyone thought I had just lost it) and guess what, Not Lymphoma, Not Cancer, and after neck surgery he will be fine, it's just a benign mass. I was just about to put a thread up about getting several opinions before you freak out about a severe diagnosis for anything. Because they really had us going there....he was already acting like the person he wanted to be remebered as...when the whole time...people were working under a couple of false diagosis. I think...what if he had committed harry carry as a reaction and it was false the whole time? Not only were they wrong they were dead wrong about something pretty major. Don't be afraid to take your love- to another town. If you get the same prognosis who cares....it's not going to hurt.

The way I dealt with it is....I kept telling my husband...despite the "current facts", that the situation was temporary and not to worry he'll be fine no matter what. According to the "current facts" I was lying...but I did believe my own lie. And I'll be damned if I wasn't right!

I'm sorry to hear the news Sam. I know as much about liver disease as much as I started out knowing about Lymphoma. All I know right now is that everything can change in an instant and don't be afraid to go doctor shopping. Our little world was crumbling....and it turned out that we had been "punked". I even put him through some tests twice at different places because I'm an asshole........I just assumed that these doctors weren't qualified to deal with Lymphoma if he had it, and well guess what? They were incompetent, as I had guessed, on a completely uneducated guess. I assumed this small town wasn't competent enough to deal with a major issue. Because I'm an ass. But as it turns out-in the end- it's true.

Just don't give up hope. That's all I really mean to say. I gave up hope and that's what hurts the most about it. Once you do that you start to lose it, and it starts to effect the sick person. I shouldn't have done that. I didn't give up the fight- but I sure as hell gave up hope quickly in the face of news from supposed professionals. Yeah- a little TMI for ya.

He/She can fight this. And he/she can stay hopeful. Just do the best you can and don't let him give in to the depression.

SamIam · 10-04-2007, 02:07 PM

Many thanks for your kind reply, Cicero. I am so very glad that your husband is going to be alright!

I just got through printing out about a million pages on the liver that I found through Google. Just glancing thru briefly, I don't think it will make for happy reading.

My friend is Native American and got his diagnosis from the Indian Health Care Hospital in Shiprock. I trust that outfit as far as I can throw it. I'm sure there are some fine physicians in the Indian Health Care Service, but I haven't met any. It seems to be the last refuge of the incompetent. My ex-step father (MD) who couldn't put a band-aid on a patient without causing a life threatening infection used to work for them.

Its 200 miles to the nearest city of a decent size, and that's out of state. If my friend is forced to remain in state for treatment, the nearest city is 400 miles away. I have a feeling I am going to find out more about health care that I never wanted to know.

Trying to hang tough.

TheMercenary · 10-04-2007, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SamIam

I'm sort of in denial right now that there is a very high probability I am going to have to watch my friend die.

Mercenary, where did you get your info on the liver?

1)Yes.

2)years of advance training and school.

10-04-2007, 12:53 PM	#2
Cicero Looking forward to open mic night. Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: New Mexico Posts: 5,148	Anecdote: Yeah. I just got a 3rd opinion on my husband's "Lymphoma". He does not have Lymphoma. It does not hurt to get other opinions. I just visited that hell for a couple weeks. Make damned sure. I went to "specialists" and they seemed pretty unenthused about his condition. I took him to another city through the ER yesterday,(everyone thought I had just lost it) and guess what, Not Lymphoma, Not Cancer, and after neck surgery he will be fine, it's just a benign mass. I was just about to put a thread up about getting several opinions before you freak out about a severe diagnosis for anything. Because they really had us going there....he was already acting like the person he wanted to be remebered as...when the whole time...people were working under a couple of false diagosis. I think...what if he had committed harry carry as a reaction and it was false the whole time? Not only were they wrong they were dead wrong about something pretty major. Don't be afraid to take your love- to another town. If you get the same prognosis who cares....it's not going to hurt. The way I dealt with it is....I kept telling my husband...despite the "current facts", that the situation was temporary and not to worry he'll be fine no matter what. According to the "current facts" I was lying...but I did believe my own lie. And I'll be damned if I wasn't right! I'm sorry to hear the news Sam. I know as much about liver disease as much as I started out knowing about Lymphoma. All I know right now is that everything can change in an instant and don't be afraid to go doctor shopping. Our little world was crumbling....and it turned out that we had been "punked". I even put him through some tests twice at different places because I'm an asshole........I just assumed that these doctors weren't qualified to deal with Lymphoma if he had it, and well guess what? They were incompetent, as I had guessed, on a completely uneducated guess. I assumed this small town wasn't competent enough to deal with a major issue. Because I'm an ass. But as it turns out-in the end- it's true. Just don't give up hope. That's all I really mean to say. I gave up hope and that's what hurts the most about it. Once you do that you start to lose it, and it starts to effect the sick person. I shouldn't have done that. I didn't give up the fight- but I sure as hell gave up hope quickly in the face of news from supposed professionals. Yeah- a little TMI for ya. He/She can fight this. And he/she can stay hopeful. Just do the best you can and don't let him give in to the depression. __________________ Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.- Carl Jung

10-04-2007, 12:08 PM	#1
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	Thanks for the input, everybody. The doctor did not mention to my friend that he should get on the transplant list which seems a rather ominous omission to me. I know those lists can be a couple of years long - maybe more. My friend has been getting pretty sick, often can't hold down food, is in constant pain from the area of his liver, etc. The Doc gave him a bunch of pain pills which seem to help a little. I've been reluctant to do the research on the Net for fear of what I will find out. I'm sort of in denial right now that there is a very high probability I am going to have to watch my friend die. This really, really sucks. My thanks to all who replied. It helps to get it all out - even to a group of strangers on the Net. Mercenary, where did you get your info on the liver?

10-04-2007, 02:07 PM	#3
SamIam Registered User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Not here Posts: 2,655	Many thanks for your kind reply, Cicero. I am so very glad that your husband is going to be alright! I just got through printing out about a million pages on the liver that I found through Google. Just glancing thru briefly, I don't think it will make for happy reading. My friend is Native American and got his diagnosis from the Indian Health Care Hospital in Shiprock. I trust that outfit as far as I can throw it. I'm sure there are some fine physicians in the Indian Health Care Service, but I haven't met any. It seems to be the last refuge of the incompetent. My ex-step father (MD) who couldn't put a band-aid on a patient without causing a life threatening infection used to work for them. Its 200 miles to the nearest city of a decent size, and that's out of state. If my friend is forced to remain in state for treatment, the nearest city is 400 miles away. I have a feeling I am going to find out more about health care that I never wanted to know. Trying to hang tough.

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