PhotoShop Logo Design Contest

[antibitch]

Dear Crowd,

First, let me introduce myself. My name is antibitch, and I'm an anti-holic.

I've been watching you reduce my boyfriend's good efforts to bits for the past several weeks. It's truly been quite fascinating, just to see the creativity and imagination you all have harnessed specially for the occasion. Quite interesting. If I felt it all had any
chance of unbalancing his dignity, I would have responded sooner.

However, the revolting pileup has reached a size too large for me to swallow (for a change), so I'm responding with a message for all of you, for Bitmap (the Mystical Clod), for Ike_is_my_Cat (the Atavistic Throwback), for Dave (Wir hassen Sie, Dave), for Elspode (so MRONIC, he should be shot), for Undertoad (witty? dangerously not), for wolf (witless, and apparently proud of it), for blowmeetheclown (That Ignoramus), for Jeni (let me be your
Cellar slut), for And (the yawn-worthy chasm), for Griff (by day a dimwit, by night a dimwit), and especially for SteveDallas (who is probably incapable of mentally handling much besides melons).

I have no doubt you'll attack this message with renewed fervor. I wouldn't expect any less . However, for those who are interested, I think I'll cautiously proceed.

You are the largest, rudest bunch of simpletons on the web. Antibland posted a thread on this forsaken site in order to find a little help getting his new undertaking off the ground, and you have done nothing but completely degrade his endeavors. He never claimed to be a graphic designer (BITMAP!). He never said his site was finished, or even organized. He posted his contest in order to have a little professional piece to represent the good
ideas he has been housing for awhile, and is only just beginning to translate into code. He posted it on cellar.org BECAUSE he figured there were some good GD's here, not because he
needed more to worry about in his life. Although it's known that a good GD gets much more for a logo, $50 was all he was willing to spend because that's all he can spare at the moment. He assumed whomever was insulted by the price simply would refrain from participating. If there were such good designers around, after all, there must be one who could compose a worthy logo in just a few minutes. Makes sense to me.

Yet, some of you have managed to waste your worthy talents in an attempt to...ridicule him?

And you call yourself professionals? I'm surprised you even consider yourselves worthy of your friends, your colleagues, your family. Look around you. Look at your girlfriend, boyfriend, children. Is this the part of you that you expect them to be proud of? Spending your time mocking someone who, like you once, is trying to get off the ground?

Let's cover a few things. For those of you (like ELSPODE) unaware of current spamming definitions, to spam is to continually post inappropriate messages to a newsgroup (according to www.dictionary.com). Since Antibland posted a single message offering real cash to someone capable of excelling in design and implementation, his offer is not considered spam.

On top of which (ELSPODE), Antibland's choice of the word "lemmings" was indeed appropriate, since you've all managed to follow one another off your very own cliff of self-humiliation.

Plus, ELSPODE, if I wasn't capable of using much more than FrontPage to code my site (like YOU), I wouldn't go making fun of someone who has the patience, willingness to study, and balls to code his own site from scratch (like Antibland).

And a special shout-out to Ike_is_my_Cat: Betamonkey monkey talk sucks donkey balls, Betamonkey reads granny porn while sitting around the house wearing nothing but a little league chest protector and slathering his face with 10W-40, and Kevin of Betamonkey is a blathering, unemployed blockhead who can't command his own databases properly and who can't afford to donate time to make his web server payments but CAN afford the time to nauseatingly insult his soon-to-be peers. He doesn't deserve a job, potential employer!

Another special shout-out to wolf, who delicately inquired, "Who would EVER hire a webdesign services company that has to run a contest to design it's OWN FUCKING LOGO????" There is a
difference, my effeminate darling, between designing the layout and style of pages and designing the graphics that might appear on those pages. And if you had explored webscalpel's mission statement, you would have noticed that antibland isn't offering
complete webdesign; he's only offering, to those like ELSPODE who won't even take the time to learn things like JavaScript and Flash, to boost the functionality of websites already in existence. But thanks for your graceful contribution to feminity.

Another special shout-out to the man who is unable to spell the word "me," blowmeetheclown: no intellectual property was harmed in the making of webscalpel. Antibland may feel
inspired by the exactness and humour in Thau's tutorials (and aptly so) but has never, and I can personally vouch for this, had any desire to STEAL somebody else's creation. READ his
goddamn About page.

And, DAVE and ELSPODE, your comment about his desire to hack ANY site is despicable, if not laughable.

In fact, the poor guy spends his days walking around, even websurfing around, trying deperately to locate even one person who values inventiveness and originality half as much as he does. He's in the midst of trying to build a place for individuals to come together, share their ideas, developers mixing with beginners mixing with people looking to get their name out there. He's creating a site that might help people, that is a positive forum for the self-motivated and, on top of it all, a place to meet people just as desirous for constructive contact as he.

There are worse crimes.

That's why he put up his measly $50 for a logo. He could have easily walked straight into the GD department of the nearest university. He could have gone straight to a corporate logo-maker. He could have downloaded software. But he wanted to attract people who might be interested in offering their input, interested in joining his cause, or donating some constructive criticism. He wanted to find a little support from those who have a skill that he lacks and could help his site look better. And who could gain public credit for it. Plus a few bucks. After all, anyone can post their tutorial on his starter site and help it grow, while gaining free publicity.

He went to the web to cut up a little.

He never needed your shit.

I, for one, have gained a little insight into the personality of my global neighbors. You're all about as sweet as schoolyard bullies.

I'm sure you'll amount to as much.

<antibitch>