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Yeah, it depends on the definition. I think that a lot of culturally indoctrinated ideas of romance (the rubbish about an engagement ring having to cost at least 2 months' salary...) are either hopelessly materialistic or patriarchal -- which come down to the same thing ultimately, that is, a man trying to prove that he is capable of buying the woman's affections.
If a guy showed up for a date with me bearing an armful of roses (which I don't like), diamond jewelry (which I don't wear), etc, took me to the most expensive restaurant in town regardless of whether there was anything vegetarian for me to eat, etc, that might look like romance from the outside, but to me it would feel like someone preferred to spend money on impressing me rather than spending *time* on getting to know me and figure out what I really like. Remember that a lot of what we think of as "romance" was created by advertising!
On the other hand, my husband and I just got back from our honeymoon, so I can't really say that I don't believe in romance... but I think it comes more from really knowing and appreciating one another. More about a moment being personally meaningful than flashy or expensive.
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07-01-2007, 11:47 PM
Hybrid Mode
