Too Close to Home...Way too Fucking Close

[Aliantha]

Mental illness is unpredictable. You can in no way put any of this on yourself Els. You can only do what you can do and no more.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[limey]

I'll add my condolences and sympathy to those already expressed here, both for you and for the families of the victims.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Elspode

My heart is just broken...I ache for those whom he murdered, their families, and the wounded and terrorized who had to endure his madness.

I really don't think I'm going to be able to cry enough.

I am sorry for you loss.

[Pie]

This is the first I've heard of this sad event. 'Spode, Selene, I sorrow for you and your community.

[Shawnee123]

I'm trying to send the healing energy you send to those of us in need. I am so sorry for your loss, and the pain you must feel.

[Clodfobble]

Sorry to hear about this, Els. Hope you and Selene have a chance to give his sister and your mutual friends some comfort in all of it.

[LabRat]

My condolences to you and your family & friends, please don't beat yourself up too much over this.

[Elspode]

Today was a busy day, with our local Pagan community having to fend off the inevitable characteriztion of my madman murderer friend David Logsdon as a Satanist:

"KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- Citing chanting and odd religious rituals, the neighbor of Ward Parkway Mall killer David Logsdon feared "occult" like ceremonies held in his backyard.
Neighbor Jo Ann Correa said she'd known Logsdon since he was 11 years old and was becoming increasingly alarmed by what she suspects were satanic rituals.

"I don't approve of that, and it scared me. Actually, it scared me. I didn't feel safe in the back yard anymore," Correa said.

She said it wasn't just Logsdon, but that others were also at the rituals, which included chanting.

"We understood it as some sort of marriage ceremony there. And we understood it was a Satan worship. I don't know it for a fact. I do know something strange was going on there," Correa said.

She had watched Logsdon grow up and says the behaviour didn't fit in with his family's spiritual background. "They were church goers, and his sister and his mother you know, and I just don't know exactly what happened there," Correa said. "

Many of us, myself included, called and emailed KSHB TV throughout the day, insisting that they either retract their story, or at least offer the other side of things, many of those facts presented by people who actually knew Dave. Those efforts paid off later in the day:

Area Pagans confirm mall killer David Logsdon held rituals in his backyard, but say the ceremonies were Pagan not Satanic as neighbors feared.

At a pagan supply store on Broadway where crystal balls are displayed near witches capes and magic herbs, Logsdon is remembered as a customer.

"I always enjoyed talking with him because he was intelligent, and curious and immersed in the things he was interested in," says Barbara Criswell, who runs the store.

Logsdon shot a police officer, killed his neighbor, and fatally shot two others at Ward Parkway Mall before police killed him.

Criswell says witches are, "people that are nature based, people that are non-violent, and that's completely different from Satanism."

Many pagans contacted NBC Action News complaining about our story which discussed neighbor concerns that chanting and other ritualistic behaviour in Logsdon's backyard were satanic in nature.

They are angry that neighbors assumed the behavior was satanic and angry that their religion is being dragged into a killing spree.

Chriswell says, "He needed help. He needed counseling. He needed medication. And that doesn't have a thing to do with his spiritual beliefs at all."

She knew him in a customer at her store. Her son, Russell Chriswell runs a store next door. He says, "obviously, he had problems and he snapped, but no bearing at all in his religion."

A witches' website www.witchvox.com has posted a link to our earlier story on the front page of its website. Pagans have emailed the station calling our coverage, "disgusting" and "a blatant example of sensationalism."

One man, who knew Logsdon wrote that the killer was, "hurting from a couple of broken relationships, depression, and drinking."

The Pagan tradition is an ancient earth-based religion that seeks harmony with nature and has a calling not to harm anyone.

Local Pagans say Logsdon had a falling out with the local community several years ago and about the same time he was distancing himself from friends and family, he began isolating himself from local covens.

The store mentioned in the second article is the venue where I have done the sound gigs in recent months, and the owners are my friends.

As the result of a blog posting I made yesterday on the web site of local Fox affiliate WDAF, I was contacted by one of their reporters and asked to do an interview about Dave. I did that this afternoon, and it was shown at 9:00 tonight. The editing and overall presentation was fair and an accurate representation of what I intended to communicate, including the opportunity to denounce the satanic characterization. I don't know f it will be available online or not.

I find myself in a very strange position...discussing and attempting to illuminate the actions of a madman without giving the impression that I in any way see him as a victim himself, or that there was the slightest good reason for what he did. It is a trecherous line to walk, and not at all desireable as I do not wish to be seen as being media hungry in any way. I am not.

In the end, I mainly want people to understand that Pagan doesn't equal Satanism, and most especially that we all need to love, respect and support each other; we need to be vigilant for the warning signs of mental instability and depression that can lead to tragedies such as this community experienced last Sunday.

I very much appreciate the kind words of support and empathy you folks have expressed. You are my friends. If I start to go crazy, I expect you to tell me so.

[zippyt]

Well I for one can't think of a more level headed and articulate person to be doing that interview .

[Clodfobble]

Good for you, Els, that's a pretty solid second article there. I like that they included the "'disgusting' and 'a blatant example of sensationalism'" bit.

[LabRat]

I was impressed that they actually printed that as well, good on them. I second zippyts sentiments about you, and hope that the damage done by the ignorance of Dave's old neighbor is minimal. Grrrrr to people shooting their mouths off about things they have no business spouting off about.

[elSicomoro]

Unfortunately, a lot of people still don't understand paganism...probably because it got a bad rap in the Bible. If it isn't Jewish or Christian, people freak out. Look at the rap Islam is getting.

I'm sorry you and your peeps are getting picked on, Ep, but hopefully the follow-up pieces you guys did will at least change some hearts.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Very, very glad you were able to walk the line successfully, Els.

[Sundae]

Elspode I'm so sorry that this has come right to your doorstep. While I'm sure there are people out there even closer to the situation, I don't know them. I know you and respect you and understand how painful this must be, so it's you and Selene I feel for most keenly. I hope it doesn't hurt more than you can deal with.

Re the Satanism angle - perhaps it's good that the first story was presented? After all I'm sure that the neighbour (through her own ignorance) did believe she had witnessed Satanic rituals. But it has given the pagan community a chance to unite in order to refute the spin, and perhaps given you something to thing about and focus on apart from the horrible waste of life. And perhaps some people out there will understand that Dave's beliefs had nothing to do with his actions and be interested enough to look into paganism themselves.

BTW if you go crazy there's not much hope for the rest of us...

[Elspode]

My boss saw the piece last night by accident, because he had been watching American Idol with his girls, and the piece followed directly after. This morning, he complimented me on my deportment, but he was puzzled by the fact that I bothered to correct the perception that a crazed killer was actually a Pagan, and not a Satanist. In retrospect, I understand where he's coming from (why not let people think he's a Satanist, then the Pagans won't get the rap?). Unfortunately, to those who don't get it, Pagan = Satanic, and so the educational process must continue.

As it happens, the FOX 4 website does have the piece that included my interview archived. Look for the subsection labelled "Videos". It is the first one, the one with the thumbnail pic of Dave's face, at the top of the column of video thumbnails.

I really appreciate everything you've all said. BS is now starting to bubble up in the Pagan community between those who have a "fuck the crazy bastard for making Pagans look crazy" outlook, and those of us who knew him before he was a lost cause insane alcoholic.

Even *we* eat our own sometimes. I think that this fact, above all, proves how ordinary and human we truly are.