Kids and the Internet

[Aliantha]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

How are you going to know if any child/teen is trustworthy unless you have the ability to check up on them?

By having open, honest and meaningful communication with them, and believe me, I don't mean the bullshit piss in my pants kind of communication that some people might think is meaningful.

The thing is, I am my children's confidant. They come to me first with their problems and challenges. I know them.

That's how I'm going to know if they're trustworthy or not.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

By having open, honest and meaningful communication with them, and believe me, I don't mean the bullshit piss in my pants kind of communication that some people might think is meaningful.

The thing is, I am my children's confidant. They come to me first with their problems and challenges. I know them.

That's how I'm going to know if they're trustworthy or not.

I believe you and respect your right to parent as you see fit.

But let me ask one question. Not trying to pry here. How old is this kid that you are a conficant with? The age makes a huge difference. The communicative techniques and the childs desire to share with you, has in my experience and the experience of most people I know, decrease as they become teens and the peer group grows as a more important thing in their life.

[Aliantha]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

I believe you and respect your right to parent as you see fit.

But let me ask one question. Not trying to pry here. How old is this kid that you are a conficant with? The age makes a huge difference. The communicative techniques and the childs desire to share with you, has in my experience and the experience of most people I know, decrease as they become teens and the peer group grows as a more important thing in their life.

My oldest son is 11 and my youngest is 10. I actually mentioned that earlier in this thread.

All that info is freely available in any pop psych book.

If my kids do grow closer to their peer group, it doesn't mean that my relationship with them will become less. It also doesn't mean I can trust them less.

In my view, it's how you communicate with kids that makes the difference.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

If my kids do grow closer to their peer group, it doesn't mean that my relationship with them will become less. It also doesn't mean I can trust them less.

Well I guess you will see eventually if that will be true or not over time. You hope that your relationship with them does not become "less", but in fact that is a part of them growing older and they will move away from you emotionally whether you want them to or not IMHO. If they do not they will never learn independence required to make it in the world.

[piercehawkeye45]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Well I guess you will see eventually if that will be true or not over time. You hope that your relationship with them does not become "less", but in fact that is a part of them growing older and they will move away from you emotionally whether you want them to or not IMHO. If they do not they will never learn independence required to make it in the world.

That is not guaranteed. I know many kids that were very close to their parents throughout high school. Is it more likely the kids will stray away from their parents? Yes. But not guaranteed.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by piercehawkeye45

That is not guaranteed. I know many kids that were very close to their parents throughout high school. Is it more likely the kids will stray away from their parents? Yes. But not guaranteed.

It is kind of hard to discuss it in terms of "less" and "stray away". Sort of a personal thing between parents and their kids, usually based on the experiences the parent had with their own parents. I still submit that pulling away is common and expected. And then there is that whole dependency thing that goes along with the relationship. Most of the college kids I have know were dependent on their parents for quite a bit, well at least the parents who could afford to help them help(ed) them alot. Emotional dependency is another thing all together. Do you want to be your kids best friend or do you want to be their parent. I don't believe you can do both.

[Sheldonrs]

Okee dokee. I'll just slip in my 2 cents here and now.


When a child is born, he/she is dependent upon the parent for it's care and feeding and upbringing.
BUT---ALL children are born through no choice of their own. They didn't ask to be born. It was through an act of (usually) 2 other people. I believe this entitles them to certain freedoms and the presumption of guiltlessness unless proven otherwise just as a matter of courtesy for being forced into this world..
It is the parents OBLIGATION to keep them safe since THEY were the ones who forced this life on the child.
But it is my opinion that the parents do not have the right to control everything the child does.

And as a side note, calling ANYONE a "fag" is wrong and juvenile. Telling an known underaged person to "Wipe the cum off their face" is child sexual abuse. Use your head for something besides holding your hat up.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Sheldonrs

Okee dokee. I'll just slip in my 2 cents here and now.


When a child is born, he/she is dependent upon the parent for it's care and feeding and upbringing.
BUT---ALL children are born through no choice of their own. They didn't ask to be born. It was through an act of (usually) 2 other people. I believe this entitles them to certain freedoms and the presumption of guiltlessness unless proven otherwise just as a matter of courtesy for being forced into this world..
It is the parents OBLIGATION to keep them safe since THEY were the ones who forced this life on the child.
But it is my opinion that the parents do not have the right to control everything the child does.

And as a side note, calling ANYONE a "fag" is wrong and juvenile. Telling an known underaged person to "Wipe the cum off their face" is child sexual abuse. Use your head for something besides holding your hat up.

Yea, yea, I all ready mentioned that some statements were mentioned in error... Shit happens. "|