Jealousy, trust, and diaries

[freshnesschronic]

Wow, that would be hard man. Part of you feels so strong for her but her jealousy issue is really an issue. I guess stepping back and reevaluating the relationship is the only thing you can really do. See if she's on page 4 of the courtship guide, not page 1, trying to find dirt on you. Miniscule things like past ex's that aren't a factor anymore shouldn't disrupt a healthy loving relationship, at all! If you guys don't have a common goal in the relationship then I don't know if things will work out. But I feel for you, brother.

[Pie]

The amount of time she spends "digging" bothers me. Anyone who spends that much effort looking for dirt isn't someone I would spend my time with -- who wants to date a person dedicated to bringing you down?

I feel for you, if you really love her.

[footfootfoot]

this or this. GTFOOT ASAP

[Shawnee123]

I agree...get out.

Hypothetically, say you were cheating in some fashion. So, her repeated jealousy makes you stop cheating. Not because you wanted to stop, but because of being sick of the wrath.

You can't force other people to be what you want. When someone pressures someone into marriage, when someone tells someone they can't go out with their friends, when someone won't let you talk to other people they think you might be attracted to: completely innocent or completely guilty is irrelevant. When you force someone to do anything except what they would normally do, you are planting the seeds of resentment.

It may take 2 months, 2 years, 20 years...but one day you'll think: I had to walk on eggshells to make this life liveable, and in the process I left parts of myself behind.

People are going to be who they're going to be. You, however, seem to be incurring wrath for no reason. Just think what would happen if you accidentally forgot to be someone else and, say, ran into an old g/f on the street, and talked to her. I think all hell would break loose.

Not a fun way to live.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Not a fun way to live.

That is, unless you're into that kind of thing...

[Shawnee123]

Oh, yeah, and Foot3 left out another means of quick transport you might want to consider in your quest to be free:

[footfootfoot]

...there's no place like home
there's no place like home
there's no place like home...

[TheMercenary]

As others have suggested, sit down and come to some kind of agreement because this is NOT something I could live with. You will be walking around on pins and needles waiting for the next hammer to drop. This is the kind of person who will force you to isolate yourself from all relationships except those that she approves of or supervises. Fuck that. Agree she gets over it, or dump her ass. I would never consider spending time with someone like that no matter how beautiful she is. And remember this, for every really hot chick you meet out there, there is some guy who is tired of her shit. Start looking for the plain Jane's, they are more level headed and more fun to be with in the long run. Good luck.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

I would never consider spending time with someone like that no matter how beautiful she is. And remember this, for every really hot chick you meet out there, there is some guy who is tired of her shit. Start looking for the plain Jane's, they are more level headed and more fun to be with in the long run.

You come across as a real prince sometimes, Merc.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

You come across as a real prince sometimes, Merc.

Sorry, I have been married for 23 years and I am dealing with teens and young adults who are in the dating scene and occassionally are getting their hearts ripped out, all part of the growing up thing. I do tend to get a bit cynical about those things. But somewhere sooner or later you need to come to grips with the fact that there is always another person out there for you, no matter how good the sex, how good they look, how good a job they have, how nice or rich their parents are, or what ever. Find friendship and love first. Continual conflict and turmoil are not the ingredients for a lasting relationship. Eventually you will find the right person, but you do need to have some basic milestones of decorum and give and take that should define happiness for you. This situation is none of those things IMHO.

[glatt]

Just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

You come across as a real prince sometimes, Merc.

You disagree with what he said, not his wording, what he said?

Ask yourself this... a good friend, brother, or son is in this relationship, not you.
What do you tell them?

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

You disagree with what he said, not his wording, what he said?

This is the way I read it:

I know you want a good looking woman. But sometimes you have to compromise. Sometimes - sheesh - you have to settle for a plain one. I know, I know - it's crummy. But maybe she won't bug you as much. It's a trade-off I realise, but it might be necessary.

I accept he did not say that, but that's the message that came across to me.

I did not read it that way at all.
"Beautiful" women often come with baggage that more dowdy women, who do not work at being fashionable and outwardly attractive do not come with. I agree with this... we definitely read it in two different ways.