Back in the day - Page 2

Shawnee123 · 03-28-2007, 01:28 PM

You should write, you are quite talented.

As to the biological clock, I have long told people that my biological clock is digital, so I don't hear it ticking. So many people told me, when I was younger, that I'd regret not having kids. I didn't think the possibility of future regret to be sufficient reason for me to make a step I wasn't sure I wanted. I think sometimes what a neat kid I would have had. I've had many people tell me what a great mom I would be, after watching me with their kids or my nieces and nephews. But I'm not sure I have what it takes to survive the constant worry that doesn't end even once your child has grown. Maybe I never felt in my own heart that I was good enough, that I could give that kind of intense consuming love without driving myself or them crazy, maybe I never believed I was worthy of the unconditional love of a child. Like the unconditional love of my parents and brothers, I might carry a guilt for not seeing what the hell anyone could find to care about in me.

Or, maybe I'm just lazy.

glatt · 03-28-2007, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Or, maybe I'm just lazy.

Nothing wrong with being lazy. Why do extra work if you don't need/want to?

Sundae · 03-28-2007, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

Nothing wrong with being lazy. Why do extra work if you don't need/want to?

Especially if that "laziness" saved society a bunch of fucked up kids.... (referring more to myself here to be honest)

footfootfoot · 03-28-2007, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

So many people told me, when I was younger, that I'd regret not having kids.

A lot of people say that sort of thing and I think it isn't really true. What I think may be more accurate is that if you have kids you most likely won't regret it.

Especially if you have a partner, married or not, to help you take care of them, And if you aren't a teen who hasn't finished high school.

They change your life in a way that cannot be imagined. The old you is as gone as the old you in "Those were the days." (A totally depressing song, btw. I like to think my life is, if not happening right now, at least ahead of me.)

The thing that surprised me most about having a child was that I did not know it was possible to love someone so much.

You won't regret not having kids, and I doubt you'd regret having kids either. Regrets are a choice we make anyway, not something unavoidable like rain.

piercehawkeye45 · 03-28-2007, 02:47 PM

Well I can't really go "back in the day" so I these are my current aspirations.

I hope to get an undergraduate in eletrical or civil engineering and then go back to graduate school after a year or two for management or engineering.

I hope to marry I wife I can stand.

I hope to have kids that I won't murder before the age of six.

Clodfobble · 03-28-2007, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by piercehawkeye45

I hope to have kids that I won't murder before the age of six.

Don't forget that time period after the age of six as well, it's a doozy.

I feel like I never had a "back in the day." I've been 30 since I was about 10, according to my friends and family. Oh, here's one thing: back in the day if you'd told me I would want to be a stay-at-home-mom I would have laughed in your face. I always knew I wanted kids--lots of kids, and right away, in fact--but I thought for sure I'd put them in daycare after 6 weeks and go right back to work.

bluecuracao · 03-28-2007, 04:51 PM

Back in the day, I went to school for architecture. But the day I graduated, I was offered a job with a nice salary as a graphic designer, and never looked back. I used to want to work for a big company (I don't even know why now, blah), but now I'd much rather run my own business.

I didn't want kids either, and that hasn't changed in 20+ years (though I've thought about it, occasionally.......umm........still NO). Mostly because I'm too selfish, and I don't want my life to change that way. And scared too, especially of the teen years. I was not very well-behaved as a teenager, and I definitely not want to go through what I put my poor parents through. I try to make up for it now.

I'd like to take a second to ask some parents a favor here: Do not tell someone who does not want kids that they should have kids. Unless every one of you gives them a dollar.

I didn't want to get married, but that has changed, sort of. I actually WANT to marry my fiance; as to when/if it will really happen, who knows?

SteveDallas · 03-28-2007, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

Back in the day, I'd go to parties at college and stand in the corner with my friends, slowly sipping the cheap beer from plastic cups, sometimes talking, and always trying to look cool for the ladies who were paying no attention to us. Then I'd walk back to my dorm room alone and drunk.

Oh, how I miss those days.

Sounds familiar.

Except for the friends part.

monster · 03-28-2007, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Oh, here's one thing: back in the day if you'd told me I would want to be a stay-at-home-mom I would have laughed in your face.

I always knew I wanted at least three and for one of us (probably me) to "stay at home" with them, but I never told anyone (apart from hubby) and I'm not big on other people's children. When we announced that we were expecting the first, shock would be an understatement if used to describe reactions. If I had thinner skin I'd've been offended

When I was little:
I wanted to get a PhD. I did that.
I wanted to do a parachute jump. I did that
I wanted to be a figure skater. I'm learning now.
I wanted to play the flute. Soon come.
I wanted to see the world. Working on it.
I wanted to live in New York City. Well at least I'm in the right country, and loving it, although we didn't get a whole lot of choice about it. Not so sure NYC would be a good place for me right now -maybe once the nest is empty I'll get an apartment there when I need a break from my world expedition.
I wanted to be a computer programmer.

(my BSc quashed that idea)
I didn't want to be a secretary. Check.
I wanted not to be fat and good at sports. Well now I'm pretty good at sports but I'm not slim (I'm not "fat" either by general standards, but I could lose a few pounds). It all but broke my heart a few weeks ago when I found my childhood photo album out and saw my pics at school and realized I wasn't fat then. So much misery I could have avoided if I'd known. Does an inverse acheivement count?
I wanted to give my kids unusual names. check
I wanted to be my own boss. check
I wanted to be able to leave my room messy. check. be careful what you wish for. Tomorrow I have a coffee morning at my house. I don't even know where to start with the mess. The basement is literally full of bagged/boxed mess, there's no room for more. But I did use the time I didn't spend tidying raising $15,000+ for the school

Thank goodness they replaced "Housewife" with "SAHM". Although I'm never at home.

I think I'm pretty much where I hoped to be.

elSicomoro · 03-28-2007, 10:14 PM

At various points in my life, I've wanted to be an astronaut, a doctor, a gynecologist, live in Oklahoma, live in Chicago, be a baseball player, be a rock star, be a bachelor, adopt refugees, date a black woman, date a Latina and run for public office.

Lessee...I fulfilled a whopping 3 of those things. But I'm not complaining...I'm very happy with how my life has gone. Now, if I could just figure out what I want to be when I grow up...

loTEK911 · 03-29-2007, 07:21 AM

Thanx for th contribution o my first official thread! It's a wonder that some o you achieved your "back in th day" dreams. Better still that some o you pulled your heads outa your asses an did better. I realize, as Foot x 3 said, is a depressing song. The friend who sent th link to me, Lance, is on leave because a member of our crew from those days, Josh, took an IED in Iraq. Killed his whole squad. He died in a hospital in Texas a week later. Never woke up. Josh was gonna be a massage therapist. He was recalled two years ago. Was able to jump from an infantry SAW gunner to a medic. In the last two years his unit pushed hard an was able to provide inoculations to several thousand Iraqi children and set up a battered womens shelter. This big goof of a man, a swishy bisexual who amused an irritated. Who introduced me to th most amazing woman I know. A woman who was my gf for 3 years an is now one o my best friends an heroes. Turned out, in my mind, he was more of a man then I've ever pretended to be. So th night I started this thread, Lance an I talked of th "old days". Before I lost 5 years to pot, booze, parties, one night stands, an video games. How I went from a aspiring public servant to a pusher of legal drugs. How he went full circle from navy intel to army intel. With nuthin productive between. An how maybe Josh wasn't th one who should ave gone. Been a rough few weeks. First friend I've ever lost. Used you folks as a sounding board. To remind me th game's still on. TY. Made me smile. Never ask for more.

lumberjim · 03-29-2007, 07:32 AM

I wanted to play for the Dallas Cowboys

TheMercenary · 03-29-2007, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loTEK911

Thanx for th contribution o my first official thread! It's a wonder that some o you achieved your "back in th day" dreams. Better still that some o you pulled your heads outa your asses an did better. I realize, as Foot x 3 said, is a depressing song. The friend who sent th link to me, Lance, is on leave because a member of our crew from those days, Josh, took an IED in Iraq. Killed his whole squad. He died in a hospital in Texas a week later. Never woke up. Josh was gonna be a massage therapist. He was recalled two years ago. Was able to jump from an infantry SAW gunner to a medic. In the last two years his unit pushed hard an was able to provide inoculations to several thousand Iraqi children and set up a battered womens shelter. This big goof of a man, a swishy bisexual who amused an irritated. Who introduced me to th most amazing woman I know. A woman who was my gf for 3 years an is now one o my best friends an heroes. Turned out, in my mind, he was more of a man then I've ever pretended to be. So th night I started this thread, Lance an I talked of th "old days". Before I lost 5 years to pot, booze, parties, one night stands, an video games. How I went from a aspiring public servant to a pusher of legal drugs. How he went full circle from navy intel to army intel. With nuthin productive between. An how maybe Josh wasn't th one who should ave gone. Been a rough few weeks. First friend I've ever lost. Used you folks as a sounding board. To remind me th game's still on. TY. Made me smile. Never ask for more.

Sorry to hear about your mate. I am sure he touched your heart and life in many ways. It sounds like you have taken the best and are moving on. You are not alone.

DanaC · 03-29-2007, 10:32 AM

Glad you shared that with us Lotek, thankyou.

xoxoxoBruce · 03-29-2007, 06:30 PM

loTEK911, it's tough losing people, even if they were only in your heart and thoughts instead of your day to day. When I graduated from High School in '62, Viet Nam was just coming to a boil and I lost a dozen schoolmates over the next couple years. I was very surprised how the deaths of people I hadn't seen since graduation....in truth some I didn't even like.... affected me deeply.
That said, the ones in recent years have been harder. I found out recently the one guy I really liked at work...could talk to and trusted implicitly ....will be dead within a year...maybe weeks.

Yeah, that's when you look at your own life and regret some of what you feel was wasted time. But maybe it wasn't wasted if it kept you happy and sane at the time. So don't be too hard on yourself, you're doing ok.

Maybe your video should be replaced with

03-28-2007, 01:28 PM	#16
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	You should write, you are quite talented. As to the biological clock, I have long told people that my biological clock is digital, so I don't hear it ticking. So many people told me, when I was younger, that I'd regret not having kids. I didn't think the possibility of future regret to be sufficient reason for me to make a step I wasn't sure I wanted. I think sometimes what a neat kid I would have had. I've had many people tell me what a great mom I would be, after watching me with their kids or my nieces and nephews. But I'm not sure I have what it takes to survive the constant worry that doesn't end even once your child has grown. Maybe I never felt in my own heart that I was good enough, that I could give that kind of intense consuming love without driving myself or them crazy, maybe I never believed I was worthy of the unconditional love of a child. Like the unconditional love of my parents and brothers, I might carry a guilt for not seeing what the hell anyone could find to care about in me. Or, maybe I'm just lazy. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

03-29-2007, 07:21 AM	#26
loTEK911 Abhorrent Aberrant Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 27	Thanx for th contribution o my first official thread! It's a wonder that some o you achieved your "back in th day" dreams. Better still that some o you pulled your heads outa your asses an did better. I realize, as Foot x 3 said, is a depressing song. The friend who sent th link to me, Lance, is on leave because a member of our crew from those days, Josh, took an IED in Iraq. Killed his whole squad. He died in a hospital in Texas a week later. Never woke up. Josh was gonna be a massage therapist. He was recalled two years ago. Was able to jump from an infantry SAW gunner to a medic. In the last two years his unit pushed hard an was able to provide inoculations to several thousand Iraqi children and set up a battered womens shelter. This big goof of a man, a swishy bisexual who amused an irritated. Who introduced me to th most amazing woman I know. A woman who was my gf for 3 years an is now one o my best friends an heroes. Turned out, in my mind, he was more of a man then I've ever pretended to be. So th night I started this thread, Lance an I talked of th "old days". Before I lost 5 years to pot, booze, parties, one night stands, an video games. How I went from a aspiring public servant to a pusher of legal drugs. How he went full circle from navy intel to army intel. With nuthin productive between. An how maybe Josh wasn't th one who should ave gone. Been a rough few weeks. First friend I've ever lost. Used you folks as a sounding board. To remind me th game's still on. TY. Made me smile. Never ask for more. Last edited by loTEK911; 03-29-2007 at 07:33 AM.

03-29-2007, 07:32 AM	#27
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	I wanted to play for the Dallas Cowboys __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

03-29-2007, 06:30 PM	#30
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	loTEK911, it's tough losing people, even if they were only in your heart and thoughts instead of your day to day. When I graduated from High School in '62, Viet Nam was just coming to a boil and I lost a dozen schoolmates over the next couple years. I was very surprised how the deaths of people I hadn't seen since graduation....in truth some I didn't even like.... affected me deeply. That said, the ones in recent years have been harder. I found out recently the one guy I really liked at work...could talk to and trusted implicitly ....will be dead within a year...maybe weeks. Yeah, that's when you look at your own life and regret some of what you feel was wasted time. But maybe it wasn't wasted if it kept you happy and sane at the time. So don't be too hard on yourself, you're doing ok. Maybe your video should be replaced with __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. Last edited by xoxoxoBruce; 03-29-2007 at 06:35 PM.

03-28-2007, 02:47 PM	#20
piercehawkeye45 Franklin Pierce Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Minnesota Posts: 3,695	Well I can't really go "back in the day" so I these are my current aspirations. I hope to get an undergraduate in eletrical or civil engineering and then go back to graduate school after a year or two for management or engineering. I hope to marry I wife I can stand. I hope to have kids that I won't murder before the age of six.

03-28-2007, 04:51 PM	#22
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	Back in the day, I went to school for architecture. But the day I graduated, I was offered a job with a nice salary as a graphic designer, and never looked back. I used to want to work for a big company (I don't even know why now, blah), but now I'd much rather run my own business. I didn't want kids either, and that hasn't changed in 20+ years (though I've thought about it, occasionally.......umm........still NO). Mostly because I'm too selfish, and I don't want my life to change that way. And scared too, especially of the teen years. I was not very well-behaved as a teenager, and I definitely not want to go through what I put my poor parents through. I try to make up for it now. I'd like to take a second to ask some parents a favor here: Do not tell someone who does not want kids that they should have kids. Unless every one of you gives them a dollar. I didn't want to get married, but that has changed, sort of. I actually WANT to marry my fiance; as to when/if it will really happen, who knows?

03-28-2007, 10:14 PM	#25
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	At various points in my life, I've wanted to be an astronaut, a doctor, a gynecologist, live in Oklahoma, live in Chicago, be a baseball player, be a rock star, be a bachelor, adopt refugees, date a black woman, date a Latina and run for public office. Lessee...I fulfilled a whopping 3 of those things. But I'm not complaining...I'm very happy with how my life has gone. Now, if I could just figure out what I want to be when I grow up...

03-29-2007, 10:32 AM	#29
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Glad you shared that with us Lotek, thankyou.

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