How does a parent cope with this?

[DanaC]

A couple of nights ago in the ward I represent, a fourteen year old girl stabbed and killed her sixteen year old sister. The two girls lived with their mother and neighbours have all said that they were a really nice family and had always seemed close and happy.

The mother is now grieving for the loss of her sixteen year old daughter and her fourteen year old daughter is facing a murder charge. I'm not a parent, I can only imagine the bond between parent and child. I just wondered, how does any parent cope with this? What conflicting emotions must this woman feel now?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bradford/6504549.stm

[TheMercenary]

Well as a parent I would say that something is not quite right about the story. Outward observations by "neighbors" is rarely an acurate account of what is going on in the home. Given that normal siblings generally do not kill each other and stab each other to death indicates that the 14 year old had "issues". I would hate to be in that mothers shoes. Where was the father?

[DanaC]

Oh I realise that the neighbours are not exactly a 'reliable source', but it isn't like this was one of those families that are always screaming at each other and storming out after rows etc. Don't know about the father. I wonder whether it was 'issues' or teenage hormones that unfortunately coincided with possession of a knife. Could be anything, we are getting very few details at this stage. What i can tell you is that the road they live on is in a very troubled area. Knives are a real problem with kids around there. I think it was only about 6 months ago two teenage boys ( close friends)had a fight whilst babysitting and one of them pulled a knife and stabbed the other to death.

[BigV]

As a parent, you don't cope. Something is broken, forever. There is no answer to this question. The questions will persist forever.

[DanaC]

Yesterday morning I found a message on my answerphone from the local radio station, asking me to call back and give a comment. I didn't. What the hell could I possibly say?

[glatt]

Originally Posted by DanaC

Yesterday morning I found a message on my answerphone from the local radio station, asking me to call back and give a comment. I didn't. What the hell could I possibly say?

You're clearly not a politician. :p You are supposed to blame this incident on the opposing party.

Rap music did it? Ozzy? Marilyn Manson? Comic books!

That is all they would really hear.

As for the mother, she will focus on what she can do, try to take care of her child as best she can. I would.
I would not wish this on my worst enemy.
No matter what I would blame myself, just what I would do.

[limey]

Originally Posted by glatt

You're clearly not a politician. :p You are supposed to blame this incident on the opposing party.

[DanaC]

uh....shit yeah sorry. *clears throat*....."Obviously this is in direct response to the latest budget cuts which the ruling conservative party ushered in at the last Council meeting."

Better?

[Undertoad]

You must never EVER miss an opportunity to use free media.

"As far as I can see, there's nothing specific and terrible about our ward that has brought this about. The problem of stabbings and youth seems to be society-wide. I can only hope that we can find our way to more peaceful, less violent childhoods across Britain. And I personally promise that I will never lose my personal resolve to look for and implement solutions. Meanwhile I have tremendous sympathy for the mother, who faces a terrible loss. My heart goes out to her."

i advised candidates in a previous life

[zippyt]

Toad you smoth tounged devil !!!! that was GOOD !!!!

As for me Dana , well I don't know just what to tell you ,

As for me well with my weird ass family , I keep expecting Jerry Springer to call one day , or Dr. Phill to ambush me or some such !!!

[DanaC]

You must never EVER miss an opportunity to use free media.

I have real difficulty with the whole media thing. I know I need to use it more.....I just don't like doing it. Even during my campaign other people used the media for me, I was complete pants at it. I am fine using the media for other people....just not for myself. Quick example: I spent some time over at one of the community centres, with some of the local youth workers and a project they've been working on. The kids had done this awesome piece of artwork, showing what they thought of the areas they lived in. Had a really good time, talked to lots of them blah blah. One of my colleagues aske dme if I'd got the local rag to cover it....I hadn't....i didn't like the idea that the youth workers and kids would think i only went to see them in order to get publicity. I went because I was genuinely interested in what they were up to.

[Cloud]

Cope? with something like this? you can't. You just go on.

This may sound nuts to some, but I wish I could give this kid and her mom a huge hug.

[monster]

Originally Posted by DanaC

A couple of nights ago in the ward I represent, a fourteen year old girl stabbed and killed her sixteen year old sister. The two girls lived with their mother and neighbours have all said that they were a really nice family and had always seemed close and happy.

The mother is now grieving for the loss of her sixteen year old daughter and her fourteen year old daughter is facing a murder charge. I'm not a parent, I can only imagine the bond between parent and child. I just wondered, how does any parent cope with this? What conflicting emotions must this woman feel now?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bradford/6504549.stm

Originally Posted by Undertoad

You must never EVER miss an opportunity to use free media.

"As far as I can see, there's nothing specific and terrible about our ward that has brought this about. The problem of stabbings and youth seems to be society-wide. I can only hope that we can find our way to more peaceful, less violent childhoods across Britain. And I personally promise that I will never lose my personal resolve to look for and implement solutions. Meanwhile I have tremendous sympathy for the mother, who faces a terrible loss. My heart goes out to her."

i advised candidates in a previous life

The BBC report says the younger one had knife wounds too.

How the mother feels is going to depend entirely on the sort of mother she is. "Shit" would probably describe it regardless. I'm more concerned about how the 14yo feels. Especially if she doesn't like the skirt I'm wearing.

Here's my "brit" edit to/rewrite of UT's "press statement":

My heart goes out to this family. The knife culture -which seems to have become become endemic in our teen society- has now penetrated our family culture. It needs to be stopped. This is not a local issue, it's a national issue. I have personally contacted Mr. Blair about he need for a family crisis resolution policy. I will do everything in my power to help this family get through the ordeal that lies ahead.