What I want for Christmas - NSFW

Santa Claus · 12-25-2006, 08:07 AM

Every year, millions of children send me letters, telling me what they want.

All I get in return is a plate of stale cookies and a glass of warm 2% milk.

Let me tell you what I want ---

Jacquelita · 12-25-2006, 10:03 AM

You know - UT says I'm a prude (sometimes) - I guess maybe he's right- but this just seems a little over the top - not even cute or funny...

Sorry guys - don't appreciate this one

Undertoad · 12-25-2006, 10:14 AM

Image deleted by UT, if you want to see someone looking like Leah Remini naked, just GIS for "Leah Remini naked". This is the Internet and all the porn you want is three clicks away.

I don't really give a crap, but it was really strange to find that on Christmas morning one of the first things my mother and fiancee saw was an open beaver shot on the Cellar.

skysidhe · 12-25-2006, 10:45 AM

hear hear! Merry Christmas UT!

I am so thankful for a place like this cellar where not only a higher standard is sought but it is OK to say so.

-peace dude-

12-26-2006, 03:47 AM

I didn't see the image that was deleted; but, the description may have answered a question for me. I've always wondered what Santa Claus did throughout the rest of the year. With all of those Ho, Ho, Hos I thought that he might have been a pimp; however, I've gathered here that he's actually a gynecologist!

chrisinhouston · 12-26-2006, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Santa Claus

All I get in return is a plate of stale cookies and a glass of warm 2% milk.

Not at my house when I was a kid. We always put out a corned beef on rye and a bottle of beer. Dad always said that was what Santa would want and he must have been right because in the morning the plate was clean and the bottle was empty!

SteveDallas · 12-26-2006, 09:03 AM

My discreet suggestions to the kids that Santa must get milk and cookies at ever house, and that perhaps he'd enjoy a change of pace, say, Scotch and buffalo wings, were quickly squelched.

lumberjim · 12-26-2006, 09:27 AM

Iv'e been reading my kids the biography of santa, and in it he states very clearly that he prefers goat cheese and chocolate chip cookies.

SteveDallas · 12-26-2006, 10:10 AM

I hope that's (goat cheese) and (chocolate chip cookies), and not (goat cheese and chocolate chip) cookies.

lumberjim · 12-26-2006, 10:26 AM

yes, the latter. and soymilk.

Elspode · 12-26-2006, 10:31 AM

What kind of left wing, treehugging, New Age literature are you reading those kids, LJ?

lumberjim · 12-26-2006, 10:36 AM

yesman065 · 12-26-2006, 11:20 AM

No freakin way - that is too funny. If my kids were younger I'd definitely get that!

Phil · 12-26-2006, 12:07 PM

aw cute book.
does it mention that the Santa Claus we know today was created by Coca Cola?

zippyt · 12-26-2006, 03:22 PM

yes, the latter. and soymilk.
Soymilk ????
So ugh , exactly HOW do you MILK a soybean ???

12-25-2006, 08:07 AM	#1
Santa Claus Person Who Has Posted Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: North Pole Posts: 2	What I want for Christmas - NSFW Every year, millions of children send me letters, telling me what they want. All I get in return is a plate of stale cookies and a glass of warm 2% milk. Let me tell you what I want ---

12-26-2006, 09:27 AM	#8
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	Iv'e been reading my kids the biography of santa, and in it he states very clearly that he prefers goat cheese and chocolate chip cookies. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

12-26-2006, 10:26 AM	#10
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	yes, the latter. and soymilk. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

12-26-2006, 10:31 AM	#11
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	What kind of left wing, treehugging, New Age literature are you reading those kids, LJ? __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

12-26-2006, 10:36 AM	#12
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	__________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

12-25-2006, 10:03 AM	#2
Jacquelita Don't pop a vein Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: in my own mind Posts: 289	You know - UT says I'm a prude (sometimes) - I guess maybe he's right- but this just seems a little over the top - not even cute or funny... Sorry guys - don't appreciate this one

12-25-2006, 10:14 AM	#3
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Image deleted by UT, if you want to see someone looking like Leah Remini naked, just GIS for "Leah Remini naked". This is the Internet and all the porn you want is three clicks away. I don't really give a crap, but it was really strange to find that on Christmas morning one of the first things my mother and fiancee saw was an open beaver shot on the Cellar.

12-25-2006, 10:45 AM	#4
skysidhe ~~Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.~~ Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,828	hear hear! Merry Christmas UT! I am so thankful for a place like this cellar where not only a higher standard is sought but it is OK to say so. -peace dude-

12-26-2006, 03:47 AM	#5
NoBoxes Guest Posts: n/a	I didn't see the image that was deleted; but, the description may have answered a question for me. I've always wondered what Santa Claus did throughout the rest of the year. With all of those Ho, Ho, Hos I thought that he might have been a pimp; however, I've gathered here that he's actually a gynecologist!

12-26-2006, 09:03 AM	#7
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	My discreet suggestions to the kids that Santa must get milk and cookies at ever house, and that perhaps he'd enjoy a change of pace, say, Scotch and buffalo wings, were quickly squelched.

12-26-2006, 10:10 AM	#9
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	I hope that's (goat cheese) and (chocolate chip cookies), and not (goat cheese and chocolate chip) cookies.

12-26-2006, 11:20 AM	#13
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	No freakin way - that is too funny. If my kids were younger I'd definitely get that!

12-26-2006, 12:07 PM	#14
Phil Hoodoo Guru Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 304	aw cute book. does it mention that the Santa Claus we know today was created by Coca Cola? __________________ Atheist n A person to be pitied in that he is unable to believe things for which there is no evidence, and who has thus deprived himself of a convenient means of feeling superior to others.

12-26-2006, 03:22 PM	#15
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	yes, the latter. and soymilk. Soymilk ???? So ugh , exactly HOW do you MILK a soybean ??? __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

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