Need advice re woman at his work

footfootfoot · 08-04-2006, 09:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff

Maybe you should pop by security and get the video.

There you go Griff, that's what you should watch since the chicas are out tonight...

bluecuracao · 08-04-2006, 09:50 PM

lillypilly--I don't think you deserve the misery he's causing you with his shady behavior. If you are the one he loves and plans on marrying, then he should be concerned about *your* happiness--not sneaking around with some doe-eyed co-worker.

You may come off as very jealous if you insist that he not invite her to dinner (so what)--but you would also be protecting your right not to be put in an antagonizing situation. I'm sure the rest of the work team would understand only too well why she wasn't invited. If the fiance is embarrassed by it, he would only have himself to blame.

If he leaves you again, tell him not to let the door hit his cheating ass. There are better men out there.

MsSparkie · 08-04-2006, 11:21 PM

You deserve better!!!! He is involved deeply but it might be platonic, but they are close. I don't know enough to say. But your feelings deserve acknowledgement and you deserve security and peace of mind. Instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop and him leaving you, why not be proactive and leave him? Of course I realize you love him. It's gonna hurt like hell....

But take it as another life lesson, and there are only about 349,856 left for you to learn. So move on and see what else you can encounter in the way of adventures and challenges. Go have fun. Be treated with respect by the next guy or don't give him your heart.

xoxoxoBruce · 08-05-2006, 01:05 AM

Just because they act like George and Condi, doesn't mean it's more than a friendship. Maybe he gets pissy when you question him because it's the millionth time you've asked the same questions. Maybe he's concealing things because you get pissy over nothing of consequence. Maybe he's trying to work around your clingyness because he actually loves you. Maybe it's all in your imagination.

But, you know what, even if all that were true.....don't marry him.

You don't fit as a couple and with all this shit during the courting stage, I doubt it would work out when you got down to the routine of marriage.

My point is, it really doesn't matter much who's fault it is, you don't play well together.

MsSparkie · 08-05-2006, 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Just because they act like George and Condi, doesn't mean it's more than a friendship. Maybe he gets pissy when you question him because it's the millionth time you've asked the same questions. Maybe he's concealing things because you get pissy over nothing of consequence. Maybe he's trying to work around your clingyness because he actually loves you. Maybe it's all in your imagination.

But, you know what, even if all that were true.....don't marry him.

You don't fit as a couple and with all this shit during the courting stage, I doubt it would work out when you got down to the routine of marriage.

My point is, it really doesn't matter much who's fault it is, you don't play well together.

I have to admit this hits it it home. Especially the last sentence!!!!! It's one to remember. Finding fault takes a lot of energy and if you know it's not going to get better, skip it and accept failure. There is no shame to that! The only shame would be beating a dead horse on and on and on.....

xoxoxoBruce · 08-05-2006, 10:00 PM

It's not a failure.
Look, when you go out to buy a dress, you find one you really like then try it on but it doesn't suit you.
Who's failure, yours or the dress designer's?

Deciding you and Mr/Ms X, are not compatible, is NOT a failure.

08-04-2006, 09:50 PM	#2
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	lillypilly--I don't think you deserve the misery he's causing you with his shady behavior. If you are the one he loves and plans on marrying, then he should be concerned about your happiness--not sneaking around with some doe-eyed co-worker. You may come off as very jealous if you insist that he not invite her to dinner (so what)--but you would also be protecting your right not to be put in an antagonizing situation. I'm sure the rest of the work team would understand only too well why she wasn't invited. If the fiance is embarrassed by it, he would only have himself to blame. If he leaves you again, tell him not to let the door hit his cheating ass. There are better men out there. Last edited by bluecuracao; 08-04-2006 at 09:53 PM.

08-04-2006, 11:21 PM	#3
MsSparkie Curious Sagittarius Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 302	You deserve better!!!! He is involved deeply but it might be platonic, but they are close. I don't know enough to say. But your feelings deserve acknowledgement and you deserve security and peace of mind. Instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop and him leaving you, why not be proactive and leave him? Of course I realize you love him. It's gonna hurt like hell.... But take it as another life lesson, and there are only about 349,856 left for you to learn. So move on and see what else you can encounter in the way of adventures and challenges. Go have fun. Be treated with respect by the next guy or don't give him your heart. __________________ ~There is a forest in an acorn......

08-05-2006, 01:05 AM	#4
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Just because they act like George and Condi, doesn't mean it's more than a friendship. Maybe he gets pissy when you question him because it's the millionth time you've asked the same questions. Maybe he's concealing things because you get pissy over nothing of consequence. Maybe he's trying to work around your clingyness because he actually loves you. Maybe it's all in your imagination. But, you know what, even if all that were true.....don't marry him. You don't fit as a couple and with all this shit during the courting stage, I doubt it would work out when you got down to the routine of marriage. My point is, it really doesn't matter much who's fault it is, you don't play well together. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

08-05-2006, 10:00 PM	#6
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	It's not a failure. Look, when you go out to buy a dress, you find one you really like then try it on but it doesn't suit you. Who's failure, yours or the dress designer's? Deciding you and Mr/Ms X, are not compatible, is NOT a failure. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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