The one who loves less is in control of the relationship

In all relationships some are more adept in some situations and the others are more so in other situations... in real relationships.
If your relationship is co-dependent, sure, one is "more in control", but that is not a Relationship, that is a game.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Like a teetertotter....have it sitting parallel to the ground in regards to give and take and amount of effort put into the relationship and deposits and withdrawals into the bank of love.

That's not likely to happen because both parties would have to hold the same opinion of what they need and what the other person needs. The chances of that are somewhere between slim and none. It'll rarely be level.

In sucessful relationships, both give enough and both get enough, although probably neither get all they want....just more than the minimum to stay.
But, that said, you may be giving all you can muster, of what you think they want to be given, but be wrong..... making all your giving, at best off target and at worst annoying.

Well, wtf, what do you do? C O M M U N I C A T E. Don't hint, don't assume, don't beat around the bush, and don't sum it up in a poem. Just ask, just tell.