Cheating

yesman065 · 07-20-2006, 07:43 AM

My wife cheated on me while we were still dating. We had a long talk about it and I forgave her - we eventually got married and after she had a revelation about her drugging and drinking, came clean on everything. This included that after 17 years of marriage she had cheated on me several more times with "friends" of mine. Needless to say none of them are friends anymore (never really were) and she is not my wife either. Point is that I honestly forgave her initial discretion, but the others were too much for me to bear and it eventually eroded all trust and ended the relationship.

Jabbly · 07-22-2006, 02:07 AM

I think there is merit in the view that if your partner thinks something is cheating then you should respect their feelings and not do it. Besides, if your morals don't align at least most of the time what hope does your relationship have? I certainly wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with someoneone who thinks it's acceptable to kiss someone else!

That being said, this can be taken too far. For example a person disaproving of their partner having friends of the opposite sex is just ridiculous! IMO not letting them look either is silly. My BF has a healthy interest in attractive women and he doesn't hide it. He openly admires them in my presence which doesn't bother me at all. I'd be worried if he didn't admire the likes of Jessica Alba!

As for my definition of cheating, I believe any physical activity between two people that is unnecessarily ... friendly ... could be considered cheating, taking into consideration the normal way the people involved interact with other people. Obviously there are varying degrees of betrayal and you have to judge each situation on it's own merits.

Emotional cheating is a lot harder to identify and define. I'd be a hell of a lot more hurt by this kind of thing than if my partner had a one night stand or something. Of course the physical aspect can stem from emotional betrayal in which case it would be as bad or even worse.

And not lying about the fact that you're sleeping with someone else or whatever it is you're doing doesn't make your actions any less cheating!

limey · 07-22-2006, 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jabbly

.... For example a person disaproving of their partner having friends of the opposite sex is just ridiculous!
...
Emotional cheating is a lot harder to identify and define. I'd be a hell of a lot more hurt by this kind of thing than if my partner had a one night stand or something. ...

But where does having friends of the opposite sex end and emotional cheating begin? When your partner will confide things to a friend of the opposite sex that he wouldn't confide to you? What if he would confide these to a friend of the same sex, but not to you?

07-22-2006, 02:07 AM	#2
Jabbly Non-Newbie Sort Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 6	I think there is merit in the view that if your partner thinks something is cheating then you should respect their feelings and not do it. Besides, if your morals don't align at least most of the time what hope does your relationship have? I certainly wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with someoneone who thinks it's acceptable to kiss someone else! That being said, this can be taken too far. For example a person disaproving of their partner having friends of the opposite sex is just ridiculous! IMO not letting them look either is silly. My BF has a healthy interest in attractive women and he doesn't hide it. He openly admires them in my presence which doesn't bother me at all. I'd be worried if he didn't admire the likes of Jessica Alba! As for my definition of cheating, I believe any physical activity between two people that is unnecessarily ... friendly ... could be considered cheating, taking into consideration the normal way the people involved interact with other people. Obviously there are varying degrees of betrayal and you have to judge each situation on it's own merits. Emotional cheating is a lot harder to identify and define. I'd be a hell of a lot more hurt by this kind of thing than if my partner had a one night stand or something. Of course the physical aspect can stem from emotional betrayal in which case it would be as bad or even worse. And not lying about the fact that you're sleeping with someone else or whatever it is you're doing doesn't make your actions any less cheating! __________________ If you knew me at all you would know that I reserve the right to completely contradict myself

07-20-2006, 07:43 AM	#1
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	My wife cheated on me while we were still dating. We had a long talk about it and I forgave her - we eventually got married and after she had a revelation about her drugging and drinking, came clean on everything. This included that after 17 years of marriage she had cheated on me several more times with "friends" of mine. Needless to say none of them are friends anymore (never really were) and she is not my wife either. Point is that I honestly forgave her initial discretion, but the others were too much for me to bear and it eventually eroded all trust and ended the relationship.

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