Is it over?

anonymousfornow · 07-02-2006, 02:03 AM

My boyfriend of 10 months has been caught answering personal ads with an invitation to his apartment and a XXX pic. Keep him and forgive or cut my losses? Be brutally honest.

xoxoxoBruce · 07-02-2006, 02:17 AM

Welcome to the Cellar, anonymousfornow.

Cut your losses...run like hell.

anonymousfornow · 07-02-2006, 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

Welcome to the Cellar, anonymousfornow.

Cut your losses...run like hell.

I was pretty sure this is going to be the major consenus. I am in shock and looking for some magic.

AlternateGray · 07-02-2006, 02:59 AM

I second Bruce. And you have my sympathy.

limey · 07-02-2006, 04:40 AM

Lose the boyfriend. Take some time to be with yourself. Welcome to the cellar

DucksNuts · 07-02-2006, 06:17 AM

I'm with the others, lose him!

Sorry you have to go through this though....and welcome

WabUfvot5 · 07-02-2006, 07:16 AM

magick to kill him i hope.

anonymousfornow · 07-02-2006, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jebediah

magick to kill him i hope.

I am hurt and sad but I'm astonished over the lack of anger I am able to rouse. Is there no hope? I can't understand it. Nothing is wrong. In fact, everything is going perfect. It was an accident that I found out. There were no signs there that made me want to investigate.

limey · 07-02-2006, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anonymousfornow

I am hurt and sad but I'm astonished over the lack of anger I am able to rouse. Is there no hope? I can't understand it. Nothing is wrong. In fact, everything is going perfect. It was an accident that I found out. There were no signs there that made me want to investigate.

Nothing is wrong except your "boyfriend of 10 months has been caught answering personal ads with an invitation to his apartment and a XXX pic". Everything is going perfect except he's looking for sex elsewhere. Was it an accident you found out, or did he set it up that way? Lose him. If you're not angry so much the better, don't waste the emotional energy on someone who won't expend any emotional energy on you.
Good luck.

Beestie · 07-02-2006, 12:18 PM

I'd at least ask what it was he wasn't getting from you, why he wasn't comfortable bringing it up with you and go from there.

If you are so inclined, break it off but I'd at least try to find out what was going on. Not that the answer will make you feel any better but the info may prove useful.

Without knowing more about you two, I can't advocate a course of action.

Trilby · 07-02-2006, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie

I'd at least ask what it was he wasn't getting from you, why he wasn't comfortable bringing it up with you and go from there.

What he wasn't 'getting' from her was a variety of pussy-experiences as she only has the one. Lose him, my dear. The sooner, the better. A guy who does this will KEEP doing it.

I know how you feel and you have my sympathy.

anonymousfornow · 07-02-2006, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

What he wasn't 'getting' from her was a variety of pussy-experiences as she only has the one. Lose him, my dear. The sooner, the better. A guy who does this will KEEP doing it.

I know how you feel and you have my sympathy.

I know this.You are right. I have only one. I provide plenty with just my one. Thats why I know something is deeply wrong with the whole scenario. I am using all my might to refuse acceptance. I don't want it to be true. I love this man.

Trilby · 07-02-2006, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anonymousfornow

I know this.You are right. I have only one. I provide plenty with just my one. Thats why I know something is deeply wrong with the whole scenario. I am using all my might to refuse acceptance. I don't want it to be true. I love this man.

Men like 'plenty' but they like 'plenty of DIFFERENT' even more.

What do you love about him? His duplicity? His sneaky-ness? His ability to pose for XXX pix to send to complete strangers? What?

anonymousfornow · 07-02-2006, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

Men like 'plenty' but they like 'plenty of DIFFERENT' even more.

What do you love about him? His duplicity? His sneaky-ness? His ability to pose for XXX pix to send to complete strangers? What?

Keep it up please. You are making progress. So, as women, are we doomed? Doomed to a life of acceptance of these tendencies in men? Being alone or casual with people forever? Help me out here. I cannnot even go over this with any of my girlfriends as they all have troubling issues with men, and I dont want them to know. I'm embarrassed.

AlternateGray · 07-02-2006, 01:23 PM

"I am using all my might to refuse acceptance. I don't want it to be true. I love this man."

*Sigh* I'm telling you now... in my experience, and from what I've seen, you can accept the situation and forgive him, but if you do, you're setting yourself up for a long, painful relationship. He's just going to be more careful in the future.

And don't rationalize it. If he knows you're hooked, he's going to try a million different excuses, and you're going to want to believe all of them. It'll seem so easy.

But here's the truth. GOOD PEOPLE DON'T DO THIS TO THE PEOPLE THEY LOVE. If there was something intrinsically wrong with the relationship, a man who loves you will probably approach you about it instead of slapping his pic on the net and trolling for sex (at ten months?)

Good people cheat too, it's a fact. Anyone can screw up. But this isn't like he got drunk at a party, swapped spit, and things got out of hand. This was calculated. Don't forget it.

Just my opinion.

07-02-2006, 02:03 AM	#1
anonymousfornow May Ter Dee Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 26	Is it over? My boyfriend of 10 months has been caught answering personal ads with an invitation to his apartment and a XXX pic. Keep him and forgive or cut my losses? Be brutally honest.

07-02-2006, 02:17 AM	#2
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Welcome to the Cellar, anonymousfornow. Cut your losses...run like hell. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

07-02-2006, 02:59 AM	#4
AlternateGray red-shirt guy Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Colorado Posts: 101	I second Bruce. And you have my sympathy. __________________ If it wasn't for hypergraphia, I wouldn't have put anything here at all.

07-02-2006, 04:40 AM	#5
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Lose the boyfriend. Take some time to be with yourself. Welcome to the cellar __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

07-02-2006, 12:18 PM	#10
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	I'd at least ask what it was he wasn't getting from you, why he wasn't comfortable bringing it up with you and go from there. If you are so inclined, break it off but I'd at least try to find out what was going on. Not that the answer will make you feel any better but the info may prove useful. Without knowing more about you two, I can't advocate a course of action. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

07-02-2006, 06:17 AM	#6
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	I'm with the others, lose him! Sorry you have to go through this though....and welcome

07-02-2006, 07:16 AM	#7
WabUfvot5 Operations Operative Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 634	magick to kill him i hope.

07-02-2006, 01:23 PM	#15
AlternateGray red-shirt guy Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Colorado Posts: 101	"I am using all my might to refuse acceptance. I don't want it to be true. I love this man." Sigh I'm telling you now... in my experience, and from what I've seen, you can accept the situation and forgive him, but if you do, you're setting yourself up for a long, painful relationship. He's just going to be more careful in the future. And don't rationalize it. If he knows you're hooked, he's going to try a million different excuses, and you're going to want to believe all of them. It'll seem so easy. But here's the truth. GOOD PEOPLE DON'T DO THIS TO THE PEOPLE THEY LOVE. If there was something intrinsically wrong with the relationship, a man who loves you will probably approach you about it instead of slapping his pic on the net and trolling for sex (at ten months?) Good people cheat too, it's a fact. Anyone can screw up. But this isn't like he got drunk at a party, swapped spit, and things got out of hand. This was calculated. Don't forget it. Just my opinion. __________________ If it wasn't for hypergraphia, I wouldn't have put anything here at all.

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