Why Can't Men Say the Things We Women Need to Hear?

[MaggieL]

Well...you know there's a word for the kind of woman who ultimately finds herself unable to forgive guys for being guys. The word is "lesbian". :-) Of course, there is the story about the lesbian who finally gave it up because she couldn't handle the emotional demands...so we're all between Scylla and Charybdis there.

Speaking of Scylla and Charybdis, I'm bi, myself. Sometimes I think the only way I find the space for forgive guys for being guys even that much might best be described as "nostalgia". :-)


As long as we're mooting-about self-help/relationship books, here's two quotes from one:

The Seven Dumbest Relationship Mistakes Smart People Make

1) Forcing (rushing) intimacy
2) Expecting your mate to read your mind
3) Playing the martyr
4) Assuming you're always right
5) Rescuing your mate
6) Taking your mate for granted
7) Letting passion die

Four Steps to Healthy Communications

1) Express yourself: "I feel [a specific emotion] whenever you [specify exactly what he does]."
2) State what you want: "I want [a specific behavior]."
3) Ask for a comittment "Will you [give me what I want--be even more specific]?"
4) Outline the consequences of your mate's reluctance or refusal to commit himself to change: "If not, I will [state specifically what you will do]."