Why Can't Men Say the Things We Women Need to Hear?

[MaggieL]

Originally Posted by goldencomfort1968

If that's not how you are, then who was that guy I fell in love with. Where did he go? Because I want that man back.

Originally Posted by Joe Walsh: "Life's been Good To Me So Far"

Everybody's so different
I haven't changed

Well...I doubt you're exactly the same person too.

Do you want me to tell you that his priorities and motivations have shifted with his testosterone levels?

Did you expect to be courted for the rest of your life? That ain't gonna happen.

Or did you just want to complain? :-) That's cool too...this is a good place for it.

I can't imagine how hard it must be to try to maintain a sexual relationship while on a heavy Effexor dose...I've been on both sides of that fence (on lower doses) but fortunately my encounter was only for a few months after the end of a 23 year marriage...I wasn't looking for any nookie at that particular juncture. Wouldn't have been prudent.

So that may be a factor too. Especially when you're..

...tries to be romantic on occassion wheather I am in the mood or not...

Even though his behavior might lead you to think he's too headblind to know the difference when you're "trying to be romantic" as opposed to "actually being romantic"...don't. He probably can...even if he isn't conciously aware of it.

One important reason guys don't express emotions well isn't that they don't have them. They just don't *know* they do...the part of the brain that does language and concious thought is pretty highly insulated from the part that emotes and empathizes, much more so than in women. This is partly innate wiring and partly hormonal. SNAG (Senitive New Age Guy) is a tough row to hoe.

[lookout123]

i would recommend The 5 Love Languages to any and everyone who asks the questions that are puzzling you. Yes, it is by a Christian author and he doesn't hide that, but the book isn't an attempt to convert anyone. It is straight up good interpersonal stuff that may help you here.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=...0&Go.y=0&Go=Go

[goldencomfort1968]

Thanks, Lookout. I already have that book.

[goldencomfort1968]

Maggie...

No....of course not...I'm not the same person....nobody is. But, I still continue to do the little things that he likes. I give him backrubs....alot. I make him great dinners, I snuggle with him (sometimes with no response at all from him). I help with his projects, etc. no matter what I'm in the middle of at that moment...I drop what I am doing and help. I compliment him on his projects and accomplishments, etc., etc.

Yes it is hard to be romantic while being on Effexor.