Disability and Children

It is about what is known and what one can reasonably expect... but you know that.
I suspect there is a secondary reason for that post. Are you trying to convince yourself of something?
I mean that in the best way, BTW.

[MaggieL]

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

It is about what is known and what one can reasonably expect... but you know that.
I suspect there is a secondary reason for that post. Are you trying to convince yourself of something?
I mean that in the best way, BTW.

Gee...I was wondering the same thing about you, but had decided not to prod you about it. :-)

Well...Dad's birthday was the 12th, so that's got both "loss of parents" and a sense of my own mortality fresh in my mind. Also, I broke up with my ex about ten years ago after being married for 23 years, so the "absent parent" issue is very present there too. Even if I'd known the marriage was going to end, I don't think I'd have elected to not have the kids.

Originally Posted by MaggieL

Gee...I was wondering the same thing about you, but had decided not to prod you about it. :-)

Well...Dad's birthday was the 12th, so that's got both "loss of parents" and a sense of my own mortality fresh in my mind. Also, I broke up with my ex about ten years ago after being married for 23 years, so the "absent parent" issue is very present there too. Even if I'd known the marriage was going to end, I don't think I'd have elected to not have the kids.

Divorce is not exactly what I am talking about... a divorced father gets to see their kids and be in their life as much as they want within the law and as long as their spouse is a decent person.

Originally Posted by MaggieL

Gee...I was wondering the same thing about you, but had decided not to prod you about it. :-)

Well...Dad's birthday was the 12th, so that's got both "loss of parents" and a sense of my own mortality fresh in my mind. Also, I broke up with my ex about ten years ago after being married for 23 years, so the "absent parent" issue is very present there too. Even if I'd known the marriage was going to end, I don't think I'd have elected to not have the kids.

Divorce is not exactly what I am talking about... a divorced father gets to see their kids and be in their life as much as they want within the law and as long as their spouse is a decent person.

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I don't feel like I can really have an objective opinion on the situation from your perspective, rk. But perhaps you might consider it from this angle: how many people who have lost a parent at a young age sincerely wish they had never been born?

My father's mother passed away when he was twelve, and he has told me that it was the saddest day of his life. But he has also told me that he was intensely grateful for everything she did give him while she was alive, and that he considers her his biggest role model. He has always strived to live up to her memory, not blamed her for bringing him into the world. He has also said that knowing his brothers were going through the same thing he was brought them all closer, and made him feel like he wasn't struggling alone.

That kind of hindsight does not apply. We often say that we would not change negative things in our life because of what we learned from them.
It is the adopted kid syndrome... we do not question what we do not know.
My job as a parent/potential parent is to make the decision.

[MaggieL]

Originally Posted by rkzenrage

Divorce is not exactly what I am talking about...

I know...but you asked what was up on my end. That's my story.