Merry F'in Christmas - I want a divorce.

[Beestie]

First off, I'm not a legal expert. I don't know anything about the law other than to know that the law does not necessarily follow the path you think it would. Our legal system is based on English common law meaning that case history becomes incorporated into the interpretation of statutory law. That is to say that prior court decisions are given great deference in deciding subsequent cases. This can produce justice or, in some cases, injustice. Do not make the mistake of thinking that the specifics of your situation will outweigh the effect of prior decisions rendered in cases similar to yours but which, when applied to your case, would produce a counterintuitive outcome.

I have done everything but beg you to hire a lawyer. Hire a goddamn lawyer and leave the tough questions to them. There is much at stake and you have, in my legally ignorant opinion, the upper hand. Do not piss it away by playing softball.

Trust me. If you continue to play nice, you are in for a royal asswhoopin.