How to drink vodka and stay sober

[limey]

From One Who Knows...
It's not about drinking and staying sober, it's just that 500ml (half a litre, about a pint - ) of spirits is the least that you will get through at such a gathering, and in order to do so without throwing up/bursting into tears/falling over/passing out or otherwise letting your side down it's useful to know the tricks.
I never did the pre-prepare thing (eggs, oil etc), and disagree with the don't drink juice/water rule, but the snacks are essential for survival, especially fatty ones (I've done the "I need lard" bit, does that make me a professional?).
No, you don't stay sober, you just get mellow on a pint of 40 degree proof alcohol, and you don't get into quite the mess you would have done if you'd done without the snax.
By the way, the Russians I know drink for the effect, not for the taste. Reasonable Russian vodka (the most available equivalent in the UK is Stolichnaya), when drunk cold, has little or no flavour, and they could not understand why we British have to eat before we begin to drink as it dulls the effect of the first hit of that first shot. There's nothing like it, to be honest. If anyone wants to try a less formidable, but still effective approach to vodka drinking let me know via this thread and I'll post instructions!