Motorist mindreading?

[Cyclefrance]

OK, so I know you have to make allowances and the trend today is for 'defensive driving' but there seem to be more and more drivers (the greater proportion directly in front of me, it seems!) who think that any form of signalling is inappropriate, because, 'hey, you can work out what I'm about to do, can't you, idiot!'.

No I f-ingwell can't! I'm not a mindreader*, so the fact that I miss you by the width of a fag** paper when you either suddenly stop dead in front of me for no apparent reason (or turn left/right) is down to my quick reactions and nothing else. So I don't really appreciate the longbowman's*** salute in return! - it really gets up your left nostril!


*unless the driver is wearing a hat (not a baseball cap, those are different) when the car is a hardtop - anyone who has to wear a hat to drive when sitting inside a car clearly is going to do something else stupid - it's an absolute certainty!

**yes, thought this one might cause a bit of a problem - a fag is English slang for a cigarette as opposed to being something totally different in the States, I believe...

***'giving the old two fingers' as we say over here - some may know how this developed, some may not, so for the 'nots': it was a salute originally given by Henry IV's bowmen to the French at Agincourt (and other days out Henry fondly took in France). The English longbowmen caused such fatal injury to their French combatants that if/when captured the French would cut off the first two fingers of the right hand so that the bowman could no longer pull back the bow string. Hence those bowmen with all fingers intact would give the two fingered salute to the French to let them know that they were still a very real threat. A sort of 'up yours, jacques...!' that has actively survived right up to today as a general 'get stuffed' gesture - actions can be so much more powerful than words on occasions...

[russotto]

Turn signals merely give information to the enemy. And my car doesn't have "pre-stop" signals, just brake lights, so if I stop dead in front of me and you can't stop, perhaps you shouldn't have been drafting.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Churchill's V for victory didn't last, huh?

[Urbane Guerrilla]

C'mon, Bruce, he just turned it around and gave all the wartime gals a risqué frisson.

Though the other explanation from native users is that it mimes the spread legs.

[wolf]

Snopes says nope. (although this explanation was circulated on this side of the pond regarding our gesture with the same meaning, it applies to the British version as well)

It is charming to know that many of the bits of conventional wisdom about driving in the US (old men with hats) work the same way in the UK.

Just to check, are people in white cars more stupid there too?

[Cyclefrance]

Originally Posted by wolf

Snopes says nope. (although this explanation was circulated on this side of the pond regarding our gesture with the same meaning, it applies to the British version as well)

There's always someone who disagrees. Don't believe that ransom bit. Frenchies shouting: 'Donnez-nous beaucoup de l'argent, ou on coupe les deux doigts de ce rosbif ici!' - is going to inspire a lot of peasant English archers somehow. The response to that would be a loud and slowly delivered:
'S-P-E-A-K E-N-G-L-I-S-H Y-O-U I-G-N-O-R-A-N-T F-R-O-G!!'

Rather the image of a couple of hundred English fingers wrapped in a French pig's bladder winging its way across the battlefield into the English ranks sounds a much more interesting way of getting your message across.

'What's that Harry?'

'Let's have a look - oh, they're not such bad blokes after all - sent us over a bag of fries, even put some ketchup on - here, want one - bit chewey though, they could have cooked 'em a bit longer..!'

I still reckon they cut the first two fingers off - even if it left them 'stumped' to know the reason why!!

Just to check, are people in white cars more stupid there too?

I think this one is probably true - no one sells white cars here now which goes a long way to supporting that suggestion, plus the only people that you might see in the odd ones that are about are usually on their way to be (or alternatively have just been) married!

[Cyclefrance]

Originally Posted by russotto

if I stop dead in front of me and you can't stop, perhaps you shouldn't have been drafting.

Yes, I take your point (by drafting I take it to mean that I was too close up the arse of the car in front), however there are occasions that will irritate, as when there is absolutely nothing in front of the offending vehicle, when, even allowing for the required minimum space between vehicles, a sudden and abrupt halt will unfortunately still catch one unawares..

Oh and one other thing. I do try to use their quaint ways of spelling and to use words and phrases they understand when communicating with my American cousins. It would help awfully if you would do the same. For instance 'drafting' had me completely stumped for a while - thought you were referring to some form of sketching or drawing, which of course I would never do whilst driving. It's spelt 'draught' over here, you know as in: 'there's a nasty draught in here, has someone left the ghucking window open?'

Many thanks

[Griff]

I especially love signalless (not a word) drivers when I'm cycling because I never know if they actually see me.

An explanation for the white car phenom would be that they are either rentals, folks who don't know the area they're driving in or people who buy rental vehicles, a self-selected group if there ever was one.

[SteveDallas]

My latest pet peeve, on display every single day when I drive to and from work, is people who make a turn without getting all the way into the turning lane. It's there so you don't have to block traffic while you're waiting to turn, but it doesn't do any good if you're only halfway in.

[jinx]

My biggest driving peeve right now is the assholes who don't merge until the last possible second, because they are too important or in a hurry or something to wait in line like the rest of us peons. There are signs for miles informing them that their lane is going to close and they need to change lanes, but they don't, not until they are inches from a Pen-Dot truck blocking their way do they try to get over, presuming to get in front of me. Well you know what? Death first, shithead.

Oooooh, I hate tourists! I hate them so much! I live in a "tourist town" and I am so happy that Labor Day is almost upon us! Tourists drive 10 mph, looking at everything but the road. The stare off to the left or right, point, and gesticulate wildly. They go the wrong way down one way roads. They see a road with a 1% grade and slow down to 5 mph because they're in "the mountains" now, and they never know when a marmot might get 'em. They'll stop dead in the highway at the crest of some hill to take a picture. I am not kidding. The other day, I nearly rear-ended an elderly couple from Kansas or Texas or some other god-forsaken state who had actually stopped dead in the road to take a picture of a cloud or something. DON'T YOU HAVE CLOUDS IN TOPEKA, ASSHOLES?

[Cyclefrance]

Originally Posted by Cyclefrance

no one sells white cars here now

.... but they do in Italy, apparently.........

Reminds me of a TV ad that Fiat ran for a strange-looking car they had designed back in the 70's, the Fiat Strada, and which (the ad) was satirised by Rowan Atkinson in one of his earlier TV shows ('Not the Nine'o Clock News', I think):

Scene 1: Footage of said car on CAD screen
Atkinson voiceover: 'Designed by computer'

Scene 2: Footage of car being built in factory
Voiceover: 'Built by robots

Scene 3: Car being driven fast along Italian mountain road
Voiceover: 'Driven by Italians'

Finale: Car veers through crash barrier and over cliff edge.

I'm pretty sure it was a white one...

[BigV]

If any of you loyal dwellars know these people*, please pass on to them this message: That enticingly large gap in traffic is **NOT** your personal reserved space. It is what we call a safe following distance. You're not invited in. If I didn't have to drive through the wreckage, I'd fire a sidewinder up your tailpipe.

*You know who they are. We all do. They don't.

[xoxoxoBruce]

When the light turns green, 1 car length is more than sufficient margin of safety, until you're through the intersection. After the intersection, if the speed increases, you may increase that margin until you're comfortable. BUT you may not leave 5 car lengths between you and the car ahead before you start because that will make 3 cars miss the light.....asshole.

Well, I will fess up to driving a white car. My very first car was a dark blue Datsun (remember them?) without air conditioning. That thing used to reach an internal temperature of 180 degrees in the summer, even parked in the shade with sun visors up. Once I got into the car and nearly fainted. I now buy white cars WITH air conditioning.