Fighting?

[Elspode]

Originally Posted by marichiko

After I got divorced I dated a few years and then became involved with the man I now fondly refer to as the "ax murderer." The fights I had with him more closely resembled the ones you describe.

Not to pry overly, but whatever happened to the classical guitar player beau/friend? You haven't mentioned him for awhile, now. Tell me to stuff it if I'm being indelicate.

You might benefit from some kind of joint counseling if she's willing to go with you.

I can state that counseling was of benefit to my wife and I, but of greater benefit was the elimination of drinking heavily. We still fight, but they end quicker, and less hideously damaging things get said.

[limey]

My partner and I used to fight like that. Depression is an unwelcome third party in a relationship, and it is very hard to be the understanding one when you SO says appalling things because of the depression: it is so easy to make hasty, dumb retorts which you will regret (as your SO will regret the things they said) later. BTDTGTTS.
We have also "refined" our fighting style and no longer grab each other (a rare occurrence in the first place), or break things. We still sometimes say hurtful things, but fights in general are much more infrequent than they used to be.
Is your GF getting treatment for the depression?
Have you read up on living with a depressed person?
Both of these things have helped us.
We haven't tried the joint counselling route because things are much more comfortable now, but we would certainly take that option if things worsened again.

Originally Posted by Elspode

Not to pry overly, but whatever happened to the classical guitar player beau/friend? You haven't mentioned him for awhile, now. Tell me to stuff it if I'm being indelicate.

Oh my, Patrick. Such a long story. The classical guitar player and the ax murderer are one and the same. Psychopaths are SO much fun! He had this great front that he puts out - gifted musician, father former professor of poli-sci at the USAFA then head of the Colorado Council for the Arts; mother on a first name basis with all the greats of the ballet world, old family money, and then the most amazingly horrible flip flop where he turned into a thief who took a huge chunk of my SSDI, was mysteriously involved in his brother's murder/suicide thing, has a record as a sex offender, and connections with the drug world.

The entire thing is so unbelievable that I am still walking around in a state of shock. I have to keep going back to read all the documents I've recieved on him from various authorities to make myself believe it.

I waited 5 months before I started reporting him to the various agencies involved. I just couldn't take it in, couldn't accept it. It has thrown me more than just about anything I have encountered in my life thus far.

I guess that's why they call 'em psychopaths. I wouldn't wish an encounter with one on my worst enemy.

[lumberjim]

Originally Posted by marichiko

Oh my, Patrick. Such a long stor The classical guitar player and the ax murderer are one and the same. y.Psychopaths are SO much fun! He had this great front that he puts out - gifted musician, father former professor of poli-sci at the USAFA then head of the Colorado Council for the Arts; mother on a first name basis with all the greats of the ballet world, old family money, and then the most amazingly horrible flip flop where he turned into a thief who took a huge chunk of my SSDI, was mysteriously involved in his brother's murder/suicide thing, has a record as a sex offender, and connections with the drug world.

The entire thing is so unbelievable that I am still walking around in a state of shock. I have to keep going back to read all the documents I've recieved on him from various authorities to make myself believe it.

I waited 5 months before I started reporting him to the various agencies involved. I just couldn't take it in, couldn't accept it. It has thrown me more than just about anything I have encountered in my life thus far.

I guess that's why they call 'em psychopaths. I wouldn't wish an encounter with one on my worst enemy.

this guitar guy.....you mentioned him over a year ago.......now he's that axe murderer? i thought he was a hippy that lived out in the woods and you had to travel to go see him.

whatever......i dont know why it bothers me when you do this. i think it bothers me more when people i respect reply to these dreamt up tales of woe, and take them seriously. am i just overcynical? could it be that you are actually being honest? i doubt. i doubt. and i think i do myself no good in calling you on these things. why not just ignore it and let you blather on? why even stick my nose in?


i think it's because i believe that you're lying to my friends. that must be it.

Hey, LJ, follow your bliss! I don't care if YOU want to believe in him; I get to deal with him. There's a reason they're called sociopaths. He was such a nice young man...