compliments and insults

lumberjim · 05-18-2005, 12:01 AM

which do you prefer? Often times, an insult is easier to handle than a compliment. Does who is giving it to you have more to do with it than what they're actually saying?

i noticed that the compliment the person above you thread seemed to stall. i wonder if people dont want to put themselves in the way of a compliment, or if it's just that noone can think of anything else nice to say about lookout?

cowhead · 05-18-2005, 01:01 AM

I'd have to go with an insult is less embarrassing.. I know I'm an alright sort of fella and not so hard on the eyes or mind, however.. I dunno It makes me feel odd when someone tells me something positive, yeah I could break it down further into the various psychological/emotional reasons.. but eh? am I worth the trouble

ps. I am also very aware of what is wrong with me, perhaps more aware of that than what is right.

cowhead · 05-18-2005, 01:02 AM

pps. I would rather give a compliment than an insult, seeing as how that's much harder to do

dar512 · 05-18-2005, 09:15 AM

I think it sucks that our society is so negative that people would rather take an insult than a compliment. Learning to give and receive compliments should be a required skill before entering high school.

Receiving a compliment is really very easy. You say "thank you" and you feel good for a while. What's hard about that?

Catwoman · 05-18-2005, 09:26 AM

I would rather receive a compliment and give an insult. I find it easier.

jaguar · 05-18-2005, 09:27 AM

I'd rather a heartfelt insult than a slimy compliment.

Beestie · 05-18-2005, 09:33 AM

I never know what to do with a compliment. I know exactly what to do with an insult.

I received a genuine compliment the other day that should have made my day but it felt like a hot potato in my hand. I will say that I'm a lot more comfortable when people compliment my work or my kids than when they say nice things about me.

mrnoodle · 05-18-2005, 09:39 AM

i'm not comfortable with receiving compliments (not that they're particularly common). At least not personal ones. "Nice job on that article" or "your band rocks" are great, but something like "you're a good person" makes me squirm. Probably because I know it's not true, and I feel like I've misled the person who said it.

"you stupid twat" feels less threatening, for some reason. maybe because it's so easy to live up to.

Clodfobble · 05-18-2005, 09:49 AM

Well y'all are all weird. I like getting compliments (makes me all blushy and embarassed but in the end I appreciate it) and I get really sad when someone genuinely insults me or is mean to me in any way. Bantering playful insults is different though, and that pretty much constitutes a good 50% of my interaction with my friends.

Catwoman · 05-18-2005, 09:53 AM

Why are so many people convinced that they are secretly and inherently bad?

elSicomoro · 05-18-2005, 09:56 AM

Because they probably are.

I personally have no problem giving props or insults if they're due.

jaguar · 05-18-2005, 10:02 AM

calvinism dies hard.

cowhead · 05-18-2005, 11:15 AM

well.. a genuine insult will provoke a very severe reaction from me, the thing is that there really aren't that many people willing to actually throw down with a wholesome game of 'fuck you' (which is okay by me) and in my line of work there is a theme of general insulting, it's not meant to be really mean.. although I think it does have alot to do with 'pecking order' as it were since open combat is really right out of the question.

A genuine compliment? the thing is that I won't believe them, unless I have been in an intimate relationship with them for quite some time, and I know them well enough to know it's true. ( I have a bad habit of studying people who I am in a relationship to try to anticipate what they want.. (in general) and try to meet those desires before they become needs.. if that makes sense).

Pie · 05-18-2005, 11:31 AM

A compliment is much harder in the short term -- I blush, stammer & look like a fool.
But in the long run, it makes me feel good; an insult (unless completely groundless & absurd or spoken in jest) hurts when you get to the introspection.

BigV · 05-18-2005, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaguar

I'd rather a heartfelt insult than a slimy compliment.

*in my LEAST slimy expression*
Proverbs 27 5-6

5 Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Jag, I would reask the question, what if there were no qualifiers on the type of insult/compliment? Or if they were the same?

For my money, dar512 and Clodfobble are correct. Just say "Thank you" sincerely, and enjoy it. Smiling is optional. Pass the compliments, please. Thank you.

View Poll Results: would you prefer an insult or a compliment? (mulitple answers ok)
A compliment	7	28.00%
An insult is less embarrassing	3	12.00%
It depends mainly on who is giving which	10	40.00%
depends on the topic	3	12.00%
any attention is good attention	1	4.00%
Fuck you, i'm sick of all the goddamn polls on here.	7	28.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 25. You may not vote on this poll

05-18-2005, 12:01 AM	#1
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	compliments and insults which do you prefer? Often times, an insult is easier to handle than a compliment. Does who is giving it to you have more to do with it than what they're actually saying? i noticed that the compliment the person above you thread seemed to stall. i wonder if people dont want to put themselves in the way of a compliment, or if it's just that noone can think of anything else nice to say about lookout? __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan Last edited by lumberjim; 05-18-2005 at 12:05 AM.

05-18-2005, 01:01 AM	#2
cowhead halve your cake and eat it too. Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Georgia.. by way of Lawrence Kansas Posts: 1,359	I'd have to go with an insult is less embarrassing.. I know I'm an alright sort of fella and not so hard on the eyes or mind, however.. I dunno It makes me feel odd when someone tells me something positive, yeah I could break it down further into the various psychological/emotional reasons.. but eh? am I worth the trouble ps. I am also very aware of what is wrong with me, perhaps more aware of that than what is right. __________________ no my child.. this is not my desire..I'm digging for fire.

05-18-2005, 01:02 AM	#3
cowhead halve your cake and eat it too. Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Georgia.. by way of Lawrence Kansas Posts: 1,359	pps. I would rather give a compliment than an insult, seeing as how that's much harder to do __________________ no my child.. this is not my desire..I'm digging for fire.

05-18-2005, 09:15 AM	#4
dar512 dar512 is now Pete Zicato Join Date: May 2003 Location: Chicago suburb Posts: 4,968	I think it sucks that our society is so negative that people would rather take an insult than a compliment. Learning to give and receive compliments should be a required skill before entering high school. Receiving a compliment is really very easy. You say "thank you" and you feel good for a while. What's hard about that? __________________ "Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain." -- Friedrich Schiller

05-18-2005, 09:26 AM	#5
Catwoman stalking a Tom Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: on the edge of the english channel Posts: 1,000	I would rather receive a compliment and give an insult. I find it easier. __________________ I've decided I'm not going to have a signature anymore.

05-18-2005, 09:27 AM	#6
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	I'd rather a heartfelt insult than a slimy compliment. __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

05-18-2005, 09:33 AM	#7
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	I never know what to do with a compliment. I know exactly what to do with an insult. I received a genuine compliment the other day that should have made my day but it felt like a hot potato in my hand. I will say that I'm a lot more comfortable when people compliment my work or my kids than when they say nice things about me. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

05-18-2005, 09:39 AM	#8
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	i'm not comfortable with receiving compliments (not that they're particularly common). At least not personal ones. "Nice job on that article" or "your band rocks" are great, but something like "you're a good person" makes me squirm. Probably because I know it's not true, and I feel like I've misled the person who said it. "you stupid twat" feels less threatening, for some reason. maybe because it's so easy to live up to. __________________ Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

05-18-2005, 09:49 AM	#9
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Well y'all are all weird. I like getting compliments (makes me all blushy and embarassed but in the end I appreciate it) and I get really sad when someone genuinely insults me or is mean to me in any way. Bantering playful insults is different though, and that pretty much constitutes a good 50% of my interaction with my friends.

05-18-2005, 09:53 AM	#10
Catwoman stalking a Tom Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: on the edge of the english channel Posts: 1,000	Why are so many people convinced that they are secretly and inherently bad? __________________ I've decided I'm not going to have a signature anymore.

05-18-2005, 09:56 AM	#11
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Because they probably are. I personally have no problem giving props or insults if they're due.

05-18-2005, 10:02 AM	#12
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	calvinism dies hard. __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

05-18-2005, 11:15 AM	#13
cowhead halve your cake and eat it too. Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Georgia.. by way of Lawrence Kansas Posts: 1,359	well.. a genuine insult will provoke a very severe reaction from me, the thing is that there really aren't that many people willing to actually throw down with a wholesome game of 'fuck you' (which is okay by me) and in my line of work there is a theme of general insulting, it's not meant to be really mean.. although I think it does have alot to do with 'pecking order' as it were since open combat is really right out of the question. A genuine compliment? the thing is that I won't believe them, unless I have been in an intimate relationship with them for quite some time, and I know them well enough to know it's true. ( I have a bad habit of studying people who I am in a relationship to try to anticipate what they want.. (in general) and try to meet those desires before they become needs.. if that makes sense). __________________ no my child.. this is not my desire..I'm digging for fire.

05-18-2005, 11:31 AM	#14
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	A compliment is much harder in the short term -- I blush, stammer & look like a fool. But in the long run, it makes me feel good; an insult (unless completely groundless & absurd or spoken in jest) hurts when you get to the introspection. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

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