Once upon a time...

[jaguar]

...not sure I buy that. Seems a bit like plasterboarding over a gigantic hole, you might not see the problem for a bit but it's still there and sooner or later you're doing to have to deal with it. I've always worked on the basis that if I was unhappy there was a reason for it and the solution was to deal with that reason, seems to have worked for me so far.

As for planning, yes I did, no it didn't and don't anymore, life is far too random and yes she can whether she chooses to make it remarkable or not. Thought for the day, this young lady.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by jaguar

I've always worked on the basis that if I was unhappy there was a reason for it and the solution was to deal with that reason, seems to have worked for me so far.

That's a very healthy way of looking at it, and I agree, as long as the reason for the unhappyness is something that you have some control over.

Contessa's problem was that she was told as a child that she could grow up to do anything she wanted to do. She dreamed of being an Astronaut, or a Rock Star, or maybe even Prime Minister. But as she got older, she realized that some dreams are not meant to be. She could work as hard as she wanted to, and would still never become a Rock Star. It was too late for her. She had a choice. She could choose to be unhappy about it, or she could focus on different goals. Goals that she had some power over.

She eventually realized that to be "remarkable" in a world of 6 Billion people is almost as difficult as becoming a Rock Star, so she decided to focus on being remarkable to the small group of people around her. She decided that she would be happy when she reached her more modest goals.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by Catwoman

Contessa hopes sincerely her story may help others, and herself. But knows that people rarely change, and she will yet lack satisfaction in a life that no one knows is remarkable.

So Contessa's goals are even more unrealistic than the idea of being a Rock Star. Contessa is basing her happiness on others' opinions of her. As long as she chooses that as her goal, she has zero power of reaching her goal. She's placing her ability to gain happiness in the hands of others, and has already given up all control she had. She will be relatively unhappy until she abandons that goal, and chooses another one. Something she has control over.

[lookout123]

there is a big difference between "happy" and "content". happiness is merely fleeting without being a good grounding in being content.



edit: content does not mean complacent.