Anybody know much about Weight Watchers?

[Clodfobble]

She'll soon make the link between eating lots and putting on weight, and decide if that's the path for her or not.

No... 13-year-olds usually don't have the self-esteem for that, and the ones that do aren't in these situations to begin with. My mother practiced a parenting style she called "benign neglect," and it basically summed up to 'let them figure everything out on their own--when people make fun of them, then they'll learn.'

I'm here to tell you that children don't learn to have an internal locus of control on their own (the correlation of "I'm doing X, therefore Y is happening to me.") Without guidance and nurturing, they instead strengthen an external locus of control, which is what all children start out with: "People hate me, and/or I'm not good enough, therefore Y is happening to me."

If she hates the way she looks, then now is the prime time to help her understand that she has the power to change it, something she probably doesn't truly believe. At her weight, eating less isn't going to fix everything anyway. Is there any way she can get into an exercise routine, perhaps together with you, or her father, or both? "Do exercise" is easier than "don't eat," since she probably already feels she's a failure at the latter.

Weight Watchers might help, I have no idea. I hear their support groups are the most important part. That's still bringing someone else in to solve her problem, though, which might be a good first step--but the ultimate goal should be to establish that she has control over this stuff.