Why did you have kids?

[Beestie]

Originally Posted by Catwoman

What stops you from being completely happy?

For me, there's no such thing as being completely happy. I need a carrot at the end of the stick to keep myself motivated and challenged. As a guy, I need for something to be broken (or not right) so I can have something to focus on fixing (or making right). I will never be 100% happy but don't take that to mean that I'm not happy with my life - it has never been better than it is right now.

Its tempting to take the one small sacrifice I am making as a married father and suggest that I'd be happier if I didn't have a wife and kids but that completely overlooks the missed opportunities and missed rewards of having a family. I've been on both sides of the fence in my 20s and 30s so when I say that "I wouldn't trade my situation now for what I had before having a family" that's an informed comparison.

There will always be things I want but can't have. If I suddenly had them tomorrow, I'd want something else in its place. I think its unrealistic to imagine a state of being that is characterized by "not wanting" or "having everything that one wants." Humans are limited to aspiring to such a state.

The only real question, therefore, is "am I more fulfilled with a family than without" and the answer is an unqualified "with."