Where do you draw the line......

Catwoman · 03-01-2005, 10:58 AM

Nope. Doesn't matter how you define the feeling - it is still subject to change. Wanting to put another person's concerns ahead of your own is still a feeling.

lookout123 · 03-01-2005, 11:05 AM

you're right - "wanting" to put another person above yourself is a feeling. Choosing to do so is an action.

Love is an action, a choice that we make every day. if we rely on the feeling then we will inevitably move on from a relationship at some point. the warm fuzzies, come and go, depending on life's situations. you can't control that. you can control your decisions and actions.

i choose to love my wife even when she pisses me off royally. i choose to love my wife even when i am stressed at work, the dog peed on the rug, the kid is screaming, and the warm fuzzies are nowhere to be found. i know that if i choose to continue to love my wife that the slow, quiet parts of life will come back around and we will experience the warm fuzzies again. i enjoy on them, but i don't rely on them.

warch · 03-01-2005, 12:28 PM

For me the marker is "respect".
And that can be breached by dishonesty, cruelty, manipulativeness, selfishness, distance, disinterest, emabarassment, behavior that demonstrates a lack of respect for the other. When you dont respect your partner or are consistently treated in a disrespectful way, time to reconsider.

03-01-2005, 10:58 AM	#1
Catwoman stalking a Tom Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: on the edge of the english channel Posts: 1,000	Nope. Doesn't matter how you define the feeling - it is still subject to change. Wanting to put another person's concerns ahead of your own is still a feeling. __________________ I've decided I'm not going to have a signature anymore.

03-01-2005, 11:05 AM	#2
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	you're right - "wanting" to put another person above yourself is a feeling. Choosing to do so is an action. Love is an action, a choice that we make every day. if we rely on the feeling then we will inevitably move on from a relationship at some point. the warm fuzzies, come and go, depending on life's situations. you can't control that. you can control your decisions and actions. i choose to love my wife even when she pisses me off royally. i choose to love my wife even when i am stressed at work, the dog peed on the rug, the kid is screaming, and the warm fuzzies are nowhere to be found. i know that if i choose to continue to love my wife that the slow, quiet parts of life will come back around and we will experience the warm fuzzies again. i enjoy on them, but i don't rely on them. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

03-01-2005, 12:28 PM	#3
warch lurkin old school Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Minnesota Posts: 2,796	For me the marker is "respect". And that can be breached by dishonesty, cruelty, manipulativeness, selfishness, distance, disinterest, emabarassment, behavior that demonstrates a lack of respect for the other. When you dont respect your partner or are consistently treated in a disrespectful way, time to reconsider.

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